Had some rare one-on-one time with Kidlet last night as we made the 40 minute drive to her hockey game. She was happily chatting the whole way, filling me in on what's been happening in her life lately. As she enthusiastically (she takes after her grandfather) retold her stories to me, voice rising and falling with the twists of the conversation, I couldn't help but smile to myself. Life through my teenager's eyes brings me right back to my own youth -- and reminds me that while some things are very different - some things never change. My heart warms with these now-not-so-frequent opportunities to just "be" with her. My other daughters are now grown women and I learned that this time with kids at home is far too short and fleeting. They taught me how truly precious this "mothering" time is - and to see it as a gift. Kidlet came along many years after the first two treasures and I felt then that I had been given an opportunity to experience motherhood fully and consciously.
Kidlet is facing the fork in the road. She has so many talents and gifts and so many options. We had a wonderful conversation on the way home that continued in the driveway -- and into the house. Her face was lit up like a Christmas tree and her hands waved in concert to her words as she reviewed her options, fears, concerns and observations aloud. I was but a witness to the whole conversation as she sorted through it all. She said that most of the choices she faces are isolating -- no one can really help her choose. She has to live her choices - and the choices are many.
I can remember that time in my life -- the bridge to anywhere spanning before me. Stresses of schoolwork, deciding what I wanted to do with my life, what career, what school to apply to ... a large burden for a young person at the threshold of adulthood. She seems so much more composed and self assured than I was at the same age.
She is aware of the environmental bubble she has been raised in and has a yearning to break free, discover her authentic self and make changes in the world.
As I kissed her gleaming smiling face goodnight, I gave a silent prayer of thanks for this beautiful person who is passing through my life. And I took peace in the confidence that Kidlet will make any choice she makes - be the right one for her.