Friday, July 1, 2011

Kinks

It was a long day yesterday, and just in case we had any delusion of control -- life exerted its supreme authority and delivered a smack down. Things at the hospital did not go as expected or as planned.

His surgery has to wait for another day; seems he had anaphylaxis to penicillin or perhaps the anesthetic. But no worries, they figured it out and he is recovering. He is disappointed that his procedure is deferred however his feisty spirit prevailed! Not to be silenced, he motioned for paper and pen and immediately started scrawling out directives, questions and feelings. We knew he was going to be okay when he wrote "how is my hair? His forehead wrinkled and his eyes squinted and I saw a flicker of his sense of humour ... I drew him a picture, and I think I saw a hint of smile. Just a little.

When we finally got to say our goodnight, he was talking and seemed calm and comfortable - a departure from the first glimpse we got post surgery. I can honestly say that it was the very first time in my life that I witnessed my dad in an utterly vulnerable state. His eyes seemed resigned as if to say, "this is exactly what I didn't want to have happen". He has made it known (and I suspect is a deep seated fear) that he does not want to become a perpetual patient.

So it will be a recovery of a different nature and we all shared his disappointment. He was so prepared and focused on getting to the other side of the operation to start his recovery. But that will have to wait for another day.

As the risk of sounding cliche, these life-imposed incidents remind us of what is truly important and to not leave issues unresolved, as well as provide us with opportunities to feel our family love and devotion merged into a powerful single force of support. It is times like these that we are tested, and feel the infinite power of a strong family. And despite the shreds of anxiety and emotion, there is gratitude for belonging to this wonderful, united, warrior tribe.

1 comment:

  1. oh dear, good luck with it all lynn. kinks is a good word, life is full of them.

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