Monday, April 28, 2014

No Restraint

Fear. It's a restraining order.

You dream big - bigger than you think you ought to.
You visualize it, internalize, put it out there and release it to the universe.

You fill with joy of what is possible and just when you feel it inflating you, lifting your weightlessness into the air, fear creeps in and drops you soundly down to earth.

Fear plants you in your place - if you let it.

We somehow believe that if we curb our enthusiasm and optimism, our disappointment will also be curbed if and when we don't realize our dreams. We think that if we don't dream or expect good things to happen, we will avoid disappointment.

Not true.

Disappointment and heartache - whether shared publicly or felt privately - never feel good, and will be experienced inevitably regardless if you invested your heart and soul.

I just contradicted my personal formula for happiness: that expectation less reality equals disappointment. That is, if you have huge expectations and the reality is that very little of them will be met, it could result in a big disappointment. However I use this formula pertaining more to attitude... you walk around with expectations of others, of circumstances as opposed to simply appreciating the now and what. For example, rather than enjoy the party you throw for your family - the ones who showed up, and the conversation and events that unfold - you size it up to the great expectations you had and lament those who weren't there and the "stuff" that didn't come off as you had intended. The reality doesn't meet the grand expectations you had and therefore delivers disappointment.

But I am not talking about that. I am referring to the vision, dreams and hopes we have for our life. If we attempt to preempt disappointment with restraint and limitation, we cheat ourselves of the hope and positive feelings that are generated - the best parts of the journey.

Of course if we fail to realize any version of our dreams, we could of course, find disappointment. However that wouldn't mitigate all of the good stuff we experience along the way. If you don't allow yourself to dream big, or dream at all, you may never be disappointed but you will have also robbed yourself of good feelings - purpose, joy, anticipation, and just plain old fun.

Shun the restraining order and issue yourself a new edict: Dream with wild abandon and move fearlessly in the direction of your dreams. Revel in the anticipation, planning, visualizing and creating. Enjoy the experience and the breathlessness of wondering "what if". It's worth the ride.


  1. Lyn. Certainly your most philological blog. .You could have written several books around all those deep troubling, emotional concepts. You will have a clearer picture of your thoughts after a few days R and R. Great blog that will have me tying to analyze deep meanings. Polar Bear

  2. Oh Dad - you make me chuckle. By philological do you mean philosophical? This was just a pondering post,,, no deep hidden meanings - just good thoughts. Lyn

  3. AMAZING! Excellent post. Love you both, Polar Bear and Aunty Lyn!! ;)

  4. i'm thinking this is a limitless world...and hoping my next big dream is eagerly waiting in the wings... generally have found my greatest adventures when I was feeling fearless... can't wait to conjure up some new dreams with my buds this summer!!!! megz


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