Thursday, August 7, 2008

How much is enough?

It's been a short weekend but somehow - a long day. If we could hold a vote right now for a four day work week - I would be right there - cheering it on. We try to cram so much into those two sacred days ... and ironically, the stuff we are cramming into them is stuff we need to get through the following week, Things like laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning. The best of good intentions get filed under just that -- unfulfilled intentions.

I have to admit that if I have had lots of visiting and family time, somehow the weekend feels as though it has been productive. That being said, it was a very productive weekend; we spent a good part of the day and all of Saturday night at my in-laws' - FIL and MIL. Our aunt was in town with her daughter and son-in-law and we through in an extra surprise with an appearance by a special Uncle B and his wife. It was great to be exchanging jibes and jokes -- the sound of unrestrained laughter and chatter filling the air. As the rye and wine flowed, the jokes got better and the smiles wider. The music got louder and people even took a few twirls and swirls. In fact, I think even FIL and Uncle B bonded over a tune or two.

Daughter2 had arrived mid day so Daughter1 decided to stay overnight as well. All three daughters back under the same roof ... just like when they were teens. That being said, the dynamics in the house fall right back to those years. The usual bickering ensures and I get cranky. Fun!

This morning we all were up early to prepare our fruit platter for the birthday brunch Dad was throwing his wife. Dad called a little earlier to discuss some personal business. He recognises that he is wrestling with sadness ... he said when he look in the mirror he doesn't recognise the person he is becoming. I worry for him. I know he isn't sleeping and the troubles that my sister is experiencing is causing him great distress.

He is feeling somewhat hopeless in that he is experiencing his daughter's horrific situation as a bystander - but one who is called upon to enter the ring - but not put up any fists. Helpless to truly help in the fight - but called upon to administer the first aid.

I too have shared these feelings and have found the process of watching people you love be in excruciating pain, so much harder that any single difficulty I have had to overcome myself, in my own life.

There are problems that need solving by people who don't own them. Help can come in so many forms -- money being but one. Families are supposed to be there for one another - unconditional love - but one has to wonder - when is help not help - but rather enabling. And how much is enough?

My step-mom looked pleased and we tried to make the best of any opportunity to be together as a family.

Next ... the family camping trip ...

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