Good News -- There Has to Be Some

I watched the news tonight -- a barrage of stories on murder, missing women and children, an arrested teacher, bus explosion, celebrity infidelities, gloom about the war and the anniversary of Bhopol disaster in which more than 8,000 workers perished. The entire 30 minute report didn't contain a single positive story.

What - nothing fantastical happened in the world today? I don't believe that for a moment. Not sure when news had to mean bad news. I think we need a daily dose of the spectacular; we need to hear the stories of the heroes and angels who walk the earth transforming the ugly into beautiful, fixing the broken and healing the sick. We are starving to be inspired and uplifted.

Thankfully social media - just like the blog I am writing - has liberated communications. I can simply turn to my "follow" list and read the insights of my blogger friends, my special community who can share and express their ideas and stories freely. And that, they do. Every day I read something that makes me laugh; that causes me to reflect; and inspires me.

And that is not just good news -- it's great news. Every day.

Heart Strings and Phone Lines

Just hung up from a nice long chat with my dad.  The one thing we share is a love of good conversation. I am forever being reminded by people about how much I talk -- guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

Our phone chats pretty much resemble the talks we have when I drop over for a visit. We start off with the weather, which leads to global warming and the effects it is having on developing countries. This of course prompts discussion about the oppression of woman -  half of the population - around the world. Politics takes centre stage and we usually end with agreeing we are grateful to live in the country that we do. Of course all of these topics are stitched together with memories we shared and personal anecdotes. Dad's wife T is a patient women and sits good naturedly through the same tales and opinions, occasionally attempting to edge in a word here and there. When I am in one of my animated conversations with Dad (on the phone), hubby just pokes his head in once in a while with a quizzical look "what are you talking about now?"

I think he is a little bewildered how the conversation wtih Dad is the same whether I am visiting him down the road, or on the phone with him here or when he is wintering down south in the States. Dad and I have an intense need and desire to share ... and a big part of that is communication. It doesn't hurt that we both love politics and world affairs.

Sitcoms often depict a girl getting the dreaded daily call from her mother. I would kill for a call like that, and since I don't have my mother here, Dad is my go to phone friend.

And when life gets busy and a few days pass without connecting, I just have to read his blog to know what is on his mind. I feel grateful for having such an illuminated, highly evolved/ing soul in my life. Heart strings and phone lines ... keeping us connected.

300 and Counting ...

Dear Blog,
This is my 300th post and I thought it only fitting that we celebrate, you and me. When we started out together just over a year ago, I wasn't sure of the commitment I was willing to make to you. I wasn't sure of what I would say, or if what I did have to say would be of interest to anyone else. So, we flirted and dated occasionally, but nothing too serious...

By last November, after much soul searching, I was ready to make a commitment to myself - and to us. I wanted to end my day, reflecting on the gift - the take away - from each day. If there is no take away, then it is a day wasted, and not a single day of life should be wasted. I concluded that there would be some days that my take away may not be terribly interesting to anyone else, but I decided right then and there to commit -- to commit to writing every day, regardless. And I think I have done fairly well. There have been the odd days when it was simply impossible to access my computer or the Internet to get to you, or that I was too ill to write. But on the whole, I made every effort to end my day on a positive, reflective, grateful note and blog about it.

So thank you my dear Blog. You have taught me much about myself and showed me that I have a rich, blessed life that is constant motion and evolution. You have given me friends from all the corners of the planet, and reaffirmed my faith in humankind. You have reminded me of the legacy of strength and love I have inherited, and you have encouraged me to share that with others.

So for now, our bond is a permanent one. A lasting one. Here's to you and me Blog, and another 300 posts.

e-nurture

The world is a little smaller and news travels at the speed of Facebook, Twitter, email, texts and blogs ...

When I recently received the sad news of my uncle's passing, I headed over to my dad's place to tell him in person - and I did it quickly. In these times of lightening speed communications, news is shared instantly and spreads like a pandemic. I didn't want him learning about this from a Facebook status update or something. Remember when instant communications meant a phone call (an expensive one if it was long distance) and the long version was a handwritten letter send through the postal service? (Never mind waiting for the reply). Those days are but a distant memory.

The upside of these technological times is that we have the means to stay in touch at the click of a keyboard, a press of the send button or the upload of a picture. Technology makes it easy and instant. So I guess we have no excuses ... we can reach out to family and friends, share our lives with them whether they live down the street or across the country. And we can do it often.

Let's be real -- sometimes there is nothing like sitting down with a cup of tea for a good visit, or a phone chat to catch up. Email and electronic tools are not a substitute, but in lieu of those personal exchanges, they can keep you connected and involved. We message more frequently - sometimes several times a day -- nice, short messages about day to day stuff that keeps us close.

Sometimes I curse the barrage of electronic communication I receive or the lack of privacy that comes with having that GPS that we call a cell phone with me at all times. [Hi, where are you?] But to be perfectly honest, for me, the benefits far outweigh the downside. I love opening my IN BOX to see a list of unread messages. I get excited when I get an email that tells me that my daughter has posted a video. And I look forward to reading the blogs of my friends and yes -- family! MIH has also joined the blogosphere.

So I guess I am trying to say that technology makes it easy to nurture ... e-nurture! So get busy!

The Wall

There are times when it seems that there is a wall - an invisible barrier between me and the person I am trying to communicate with. Words bounce off the barrier and return to me message unopened. Tonight the barrier sits planted firmly between Kidlet and I. We are (trying) to discuss her course selection. She says "hurry up - I'm listening - say what you need to say". I say, "turn off that computer and carve some talk time with me". She rolls her eyes. I sigh heavily and tell her I don't like her attitude. More rolling of the eyes and frustration in her clearly mounts. (OK, it's mounting in me too!) We are both tired, frustrated, and a little more than slightly exasperated with one another.

It's definitely a good night to take a time out. When we hit the wall, it's better to regroup, call it a night, and start over with a new day. Sad thing is, I miss the simpler times when talking was easy. But as I have learned, this is all part of raising teenagers, and as with all things, this too shall pass. Good night!

House Calls

Yesterday as we gathered around, sipping our wine and catching up, the topic of calling came up. The kind of calling a mother (or in my case, a daughter) does to check that her loved one is alive and well. My hubby's sister recently had a medical emergency caused by inhaling some stain repellent she was spraying. In addition to the residual health effects my sister-in-law is experiencing, hubby's mom (MIH) is also experiencing residual effects - shock and awe over almost losing her daughter. Since sis-in-law lives alone, MIH has been calling her several times a day to ensure she can breathe OK and that she is alright. Sis-in-law is finding it too much.

When MIH finished talking, my eldest daughter, who lives down the street in her own condo, piped up that if she died, no one would find her for 4 days. I was shocked that she said that and quickly replied with "of course I would!". She smiled at me and said no - she had calculated it. I don't phone her every day and even if I did, and didn't get an answer, I wouldn't worry anyway. There's some truth to that, and sometimes I think I don't worry enough. MIH would be over in a flash no matter the time or day. And her daughter isn't crazy about that.

My daughter on the other hand would probably love it. I tried to explain that it isn't that I don't care about her and her sister (who also lives on her own) ... I have just tried to give them their own space; I didn't want them to feel that I am in their faces; I don't want to be the one who when they see my number come up on call display, they roll their eyes and sigh before picking up the call.

But my daughter's comments gave me cause to pause, and rethink my approach. As I have said, I am not wired for worry, but I should be wired for concern and caring. And when you have loved ones who are on their own, it's a good thing to make regular house calls - rolling eyes or not!

Precious Connections

Just got off the phone with my Pops (in Florida). We spent a good hour catching up on politics (American and Canadian), the economy, the state of the various arms of the family, the weather (hey – we’re Canadian), and just having a good life chat. We do this usually twice a week. And some may wonder what we could possibly find to talk about for so long, and so frequently. I wonder sometimes myself how we do it. But it comes down to making and keeping connections. As we chatted tonight we agreed that most people have a need to know they matter and what they mean to others. Expressing these sentiments to one another can be powerful and life changing, especially for the person hearing them.

I have many people I maintain connections with – mostly because I am fortunate enough to have many who I love, and who in turn love me. Sometimes I spend an entire night on the phone with Pops, my daughters, my aunt or even MIH. It is time well spent. Of course my family are avid techie communicators … we all have Facebook profiles, as well as a family website. We readily share pictures and stories and I daresay that our family “lines” of communication rival CNN for speed, currency and accuracy.

For me, reaching out is an investment in relationships - family and friends. Speaking of connections, I recently made a very special one with a cousin of mine who I have never met. She lives on the other side of the country and yet, through the magic of technology, we are able to share stories, photos and information and get to know one another. This could never have happened 20 years ago … I think she even reads this blog on occasion. My ever-expanding circle of loved ones has become more important to me with each passing year. Each connection is a fragile, strand of precious silk that needs nurturing. Without our connections to loved ones, and sharing the human experience – what else is there?