Prep

The night before Harmony's wedding was girl time. I blew the dust off a bottle of red for little sis and she presented me with a chilled bottle of white. Sisterly love. Then we were ready to work! slurp, sip and tie. We sat around the dining room table (literally) tying up loose ends. Harmony had asked people to bring along a favourite recipe to her bridal shower. Then she and her beloved combined them with art they created, and bundled them with homemade lavender sachets as thank you favours.

My three daughters and my sister and I spent the evening happily chatting as we worked. Kidlet was wired and provided colour commentary and distractions. (Thus the crazy staged photos.) She disappeared and we found her stretched out on her bed with the lights on - sleeping as she did as a child, with her eyelids partially open. creepy then - creepy now

We were all tired after a long day of last-minute shopping and beauty treatments; but were in the home stretch with the wrapping of the favours and the finalizing of the seating map. We loaded laundry baskets with the bolts of burlap for table runners; the paint cans of candy; extra clothes and shoes; candles; bulletin boards and seating charts; favours and kiddie bags to have them ready by the door.

By eleven-thirty Harmony and I said good-night and wished one another a good sleep, and she headed to the spare room to call her beloved. I lay back on my pillow - spent - and grateful for the plushness and kindness of my mattress. And then the slide show started--  and repeated over and over again -- images of my positive pregnancy test; her wrinkled face as they pulled her from me; her blonde pig tails bouncing as she pranced; the sound of her singing to herself in bed; her school performance of "Clowns"; her directorial debut; her first piercing; her shaved head; the day we moved her out to university; her performance in the Vagina Monologues; and a continuous looping of many other dusty images. Everything that went before, led us to this important milestone. And it all happened in a blink of an eye.

Just as it would seem that I am about to plunge us into somber reflection, I look at these silly pictures and shake my head. Kidlet is doing her best impression of Jack from The Shining and tossed in amongst the intensity and focus of all things wedding prep, it made for quite an evening. See for yourself...

Harmony's artwork

Kidlet was giddy beyond belief and did her best to terrorize the blushing bride.

I think this was the final straw...

And so went the wedding prep!

Wedded

The clouds parted and the rain dispersed just in time for us to wipe off the chairs so Harmony and her beloved could be married in the lush, green forest - the most sacred cathedral of all. With a dad on each arm, she followed her sisters down the well trodden path to her groom, who waited beneath the chuppah he had made from branches to honour her Jewish heritage.

It was a special day and as understated as it sounds, that is exactly what it was. Our ever-expanding tribe convened beneath the trees to support our young couple in their marriage and celebrate that which is the glory and joy of family. There were reunions, hugs, kisses and introductions. There were blessings, speeches, tears, applause and good wishes. Most importantly, my daughter and her new husband were cocooned the entire day and evening in love.

I'll share a few pictures (but only a few because she hasn't even seen them yet) and my wishes for the newlyweds.

My wishes  for you in your life as a married couple: 

That the love you have for one another will sustain you and grow with each passing year;
You will be the soft place to fall for one another;
That you will have more joy than pain; but when the winds of adversity breeze through, you will seek the lessons, and your bond will be strengthened
Most importantly, my deepest wish  is that you will hold the hand of your beloved, wrinkled and weathered with time and experience; and you will have the privilege of growing old together.

And even though times like this remind us of those whose presence is in spirit only, they also remind us that life is good, and made more purposeful with love.

Privilege helping Harmony into her dress

Reflections

Flower girls and their adorable sandals

Under the homemade chuppah

Nature's sacred cathedral

Couldn't resist getting my own captures!

Born (Not) to Shop

I enlisted the help of the best -- my youngest sister -- to do battle with the mall as I went in search for my MOB (AKA mother-of-the-bride) dress. My needs were simple: the dress had to minimize my chest (make it disappear), camouflage the arm wings, give me the illusion of a waist, smooth out the bumps and ripples (which may or may not include cellulite), and be the light, colour-bespeckled frock befitting an outdoor forest wedding.

It was dismal. Twenty minutes and twenty stores into it, I was thinking I should cut my losses and go to Eddie Bauer for a sturdy tent! Sleeveless, strapless, strappy, ruched, streamlined, flowing, a-line, outline - you name it - I tried it on. We left no dress unzippered! Sis was on a mission to cloak me in the stylish form to which my station provided. She feverishly rummaged through the racks piling the potentials on her arm, the whole time reassuring me that "we'll find that dress Lyn. I just know it"-  as I curled into the fetal position in the corner of the dressing room. It didn't take long to convince her that at this exact point post menopausal time, my body has a few (confounding to me) issues and it's not easy to find a flattering fit into the current, slinky styles.

We finally settled on one that was suitable and that Sis enthusiastically endorsed - even though it didn't thrill me. It was indeed beautiful and elegant - just not me. Rather than retreat empty handed, we made the purchase.

A few weeks ago in my haste to secure a dress without getting off the couch, I ordered a dress online that screamed my name. A collage of corals, greens, deep fuchsia and a loose, flowy skirt drew me in. I could see myself floating among the guests in as much comfort as if I were in my pjs. Alas when the beauty arrived in all its glory, it didn't look great on me. It looked okay - just not fantastic. *sad and forlorn face* I had this fact verified by eldest daughter and reluctantly by hubby. Thus - the reason for my resumed search.

Sis came in for tea after our shopping trip. I tried the Internet dress on one last time for her before it was returned to sender. Funny enough - it didn't look as not fantastic. Sis' eyes glistened at the potential. She jumped on board, barking orders -- "needs a gold belt; we can bling it up; just let me pull those bra straps up a bit; try it on with your shoes; YES- it's you Lyn!"

And so I guess my walking efforts are slowly and surely paying off, and in the next three weeks I am counting on gaining an extra inch or two of breathing space between my waist and bosom. I am keeping the mail order dress and staying the course with my initial gut choice. It is a comfortable dress that makes an important statement -- "I am happy!" and it's growing on me with each kilometre I walk.

Thanks Sis for being there with your energy and words of encouragement - and for not pinching me with the zippers. I really am not born to shop!

I Feel Good - Like I Know That I Should

There is a gentle breeze, the cloudless sky is the colour of the sea, and when I take a deep breath, there is a hint of optimism in the air. Maybe it was the two days we just spent at the cottage, where the biggest decision I make is my morning coffee should be sipped on the deck or the dock; or the sudden flurry of wedding activities (not mine!) that are ramping up; or maybe I am just have more reasons to be happy than not. Whatever the reason (check off all of the above) – I am wrapped in a brightly hued shade of contentment these days.

It’s good to feel motivated and excited for each day again. After a dismal past few months I am relaunching the product – ME!

There are important things that need tending to – such as the weed-fest that is going on in my gardens and between the patio stones. If only the wandering bunnies would develop a palette for them, or Fritz would lift his leg there instead of on the begonias.

And then there is my frozen shoulder that is slowly thawing, and that – with my continued torture-therapy – will having me “signing” Y-M-C-A to the Village People from a table top at Harmony’s wedding. My healing arm has also reignited my desire for blogging; I’ve missed it (and you) A LOT!

My girls are throwing their sister a wedding shower this weekend all on their own. I’ve been relegated to baking and cup cake making (don’t they know I am infamous for my avalanche cakes??) and providing general counsel on faux pas avoidance and etiquette navigation. I should be fired! It’s going to be a blast with all of the women of the tribes coming together like one big United Nations hen party. We’ll have my Jewish ex-mother-in-law mixing it up with my German mother-in-law (MIH), and face colours ranging from brown-skinned and flaming rosacea red, to a whiter shade of pale; there’ll be families of the exes, nieces I haven’t seen in years, and sexual orientation from gay to straight and straighter! Who said showers are boring? We are having it at my ex-husband's palatial hut and he is serving the appetizers. It's shaping up to be the mother of all famjams and booze fests -- just kidding of course.

Lastly, I am getting back to giving back. It's been adhoc and disorganized so I am getting back to my weekly giving; to donate devoutly, consistently, and whole-heartedly to causes that elevate, embrace and sustain to make the world a little better, and extend a compassionate hand up to humankind.

Stay tuned. I'm back!

The Brides' Project

It's started. Planning for my daughter's upcoming wedding just swung into high gear with the shopping spree for her dress. In keeping with her sustainable reuse-reduce-recycle approach, she chose to start her hunt at The Brides' Project, a charitable volunteer run organization. It's so much more than a bridal salon. Brides and companies donate wedding gowns to The Bride's Project to be sold for charity. Not only do the funds raised by the sales of the wedding dresses go directly to cancer charities, but often clients return to donate their dress after their wedding. And I have a feeling that is where Harmony's will eventually return.

It got me thinking about the wedding dress (I know- I should have quite a collection) I have hanging in my closet and I asked the helpful volunteer about perhaps donating it. She smiled slyly and said in the most diplomatic voice she could muster, "we only like to accept dresses that aren't older than five years old". I burst her visions of a puffy-sleeved, neck hugging poof of an eighties dress by explaining it was from a recent wedding. Relief and surprised eyes. I am definitely going to consider it. I love the idea of my lovely dress being repurposed and raising funds for cancer.

We rifled through the tulle, satin, silk and crinolines to find a collection dresses small enough for her petite frame. We were left in our small room - bursting with dresses - to try on her selections. We giggled as we tried to find strategic ways of getting the gowns on -- step in (somewhere in the copious layers of fluff); slide over; inhale; zip, button, tie and more. As I caught her image in the full length mirror, I couldn't help but marvel at how so very quickly the reflection had changed from the little impish golden haired girl who used to spend hours entertaining herself in front of such a mirror, to the woman with the delicate frame and long hair with resonating beauty that belies her strength.

Occasionally a faint knock on the door would signal the delivery of more dresses and a peek at the bride-to-be. It didn't take more than an hour for "the dress" to present itself. It needs a few minor alterations but it was exactly what she was hoping for. (The dress she is modelling in this picture is not actually the one she purchased -- that will have to wait!)

I am officially excited now that I can taste the sweetness  that is brewing. One thing is for sure ... she's going to be a beautiful bride. Spoken like a truly proud mama.