Staring Down Sixty

Me wearing sixty - freshly washed hair and a scrubbed, au natural face. 

Today is my birthday. I turned sixty.

Months ago the rumblings started about what I wanted to do to celebrate my sixtieth birthday. Sixty is a milestone birthday after all, and deserves to be celebrated. The advice I would give to others. And funny enough, I wasn't really feeling it. Not like I did when I was turning fifty. Then I wanted adventure; to push myself outside of my comfort zone; to travel to distant lands; and then to celebrate the day by cooking a feast for all of my beloved friends and family. I had clear desires and intentions around that special birthday and I realized them all.

I had landed on a family dinner with just the kids, sibs and our parents. And then the pandemic was declared and our world as we knew it was no more. We were sent home to roost in our respective nests to isolate and I was left to ponder and reflect.

I have come to realize that as the years pass, it takes less to satisfy me, to make me happy. I am contented. I have traveled and explored wild and wonderful places and loved and lived deeply. I have raised a brood of kidlets and enjoyed the riches and responsibilities of a large loving family. I have been blessed with rewarding work and curiosity that of a life long learner.

And now at sixty my heart yearns for connection, time spent, more moments shared with those I care about. And so for all of what I have experienced and the textures and colours that make up my life, I am truly grateful. And for all that we will learn from the pandemic and the famjams that will follow this quarantine, I am brimming with anticipation.

I am staring down sixty and the view is spectacular.

Family. Celebration. Gratitude.

My week in three words: family, celebration, gratitude.

I've been a grandmother for more than a year now and, with the exception of the week I spent with the new moms when my granddaughter was born, this week I finally felt I earned the esteemed title. I was called into action to provide moral support, comfort and a roasted chicken to the moms. My pregnant daughter in law was ill and suffering with pulled back muscles and my daughter was suffering from a broken heart watching her wife struggle to breath and sleep. My little g-kidlet was somewhat oblivious, rearranging the contents of her mother's purse; emptying the closet of its boots; and donning the closest toque and gloves she could find. I understood the helplessness they felt. There aren't many medicinal options when you are pregnant and ill.

As I picked up the toys and well-loved books scattered about the nursery, my daughter rocked our baby girl and her voice quietly sang the same lullaby I put her to sleep with as a child. What a sweet reward for this grandma.

So much to celebrate. My MIH and father-in-law celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary this weekend. Teen aged lovers who stayed the course, and after a lifetime of parenting and grandparenting, are still joined at the hip as a solid pair. And the celebrations didn't stop there. Families came together for the first birthday celebration of my grand nephew. Looks like everything will be "grand" from here on in. So many smiles, hugs, "ooo's" and "ahs". And the chili wasn't half bad either.

And this leads me to gratitude. My meditation these past few days have consisted of quick silent affirmations, some deep breaths as I drove and most importantly, quiet prayers of thanks.When I find myself complaining about my ailments and fatigue, I remind myself that it is a privilege to be here, whole, and cocooned in the love of my family. And for that I am supremely grateful.

Worth Celebrating

Last year he didn't want to celebrate his birthday - being so close after Christmas (or so he said). "I'm turning eighty next year -- we'll have a party then". I pointed out that his January 5th birthday is always right after Christmas, and that would never change. But it seemed like a plan.

"No presents" he insisted. "There's nothing I need; I don't need one single more shirt or sweater. I just want to spend it with the family".

And so my sibs and I rallied our spawn and impressed upon them the importance of them clearing their calendars and making sure they attended. No coaxing required - they were all in.

And so we all planned. We set the date (the Saturday after his actual date), he booked his community clubhouse and then we cut him off from any further details.

We contacted his close friends and colleagues, some former students and family and invited them to contribute to a book we were putting together. Have you ever sat a funeral listening to heart wrenching, moving eulogies in which they express how much the departed meant to them or impacted their life? Eulogies and superlatives are wasted on the dead and funerals. Anything worth saying should be expressed to the ones who truly matter to us. And so we asked people to share...and share they did. We knew the greatest gift we could give him would be the knowledge that he impacted lives; that he made a difference and that he was heard.

The hall filled up with wide smiles; balloons hovered above; Jeff took his seat and the grand piano and the party unfolded. We laid our our potluck smorgasbord of lasagna, baked beans, pulled pork, chicken, roasted potatoes and veggie chili - comfort food prepared with love from loved ones. Harmony and hubby performed "I Understand" and we sang some favourite family songs.

And then the elder addressed our tribe. He told them of his humble beginnings and happy childhood. He reminded them that they came from good, strong, resilient stock that valued family and relationships above things. His kids and grandkids sat wide-eyed while he quietly spoke, hanging on every word. He still has that authoritative air about him...

Every member of our family was there to show him what he means to all of us. We celebrated him and reveled in the warmth and love that was palpable in the room. We all need more reasons to celebrate, and every birthday is worth celebrating.

And so we came together to celebrate our patriarch and in doing so, gave ourselves the gift one another; the collective strength, security and unconditional love that comes with belonging to a tribe like ours.

And for that, I am truly grateful.

Next!

It is more than 150 years old - steeped in history and limestone. This historical country school house is on my dream pursuit list. Hubby and I have been scoping it since it hit the market and when we toured it up close and personal, it did not disappoint. It is a special property - four acres of lush that includes century old trees, perennials, lilacs, fruit trees and even a babbling brook.

It will be an hour commute - time to practice my Swahili - which would be a challenge in winter. But I want to try. I don't want to NOT try it because of fear.

This weekend my eldest daughter and her love moved to a new home three minutes away. I know they will soon start a family and she wants assurances that we will all remain close and engaged as a family.

Change is inevitable and can be unsettling but if we embrace it, we can make it be a catalyst for something even better. I have one eye on our next adventure with the other on ways we can preserve and even strengthen our relationships with our family.

Next!

To Life!

It's Easter Sunday. So much to celebrate! And I'm not just talking about the Cadbury bunny that is missing some essential body parts. The dust has died down after the Easter famjam; the leftover leftovers are nestled on the second shelf in the fridge, the folding chairs are folded and stored, far away family members are back home and my heart is as full as my belly. 

Me and the Sibs. Photo courtesy of LRC

It was a special weekend. Our family of twenty filled the house with raucous chatter, laughter and dancing.  Me and the sibs got down with Uptown Funk much to the horror of our kids. Or maybe it was the bunny ears... they really have to learn to loosen up.

We gathered for a family picture before dinner... kinda like herding cats. Just as hubby counted the shot down - a unison of "we're getting married" rang out. There was a clear second of silence before the ensuing chorus shrieks and screams. My eldest daughter is going to marry her soulmate. Another family first - a same sex wedding. The family swarmed the couple and cocooned them with good wishes and all the love they could muster. 

We live for these monumental moments! And it is not lost on our how special it is for us all to be able to share them together. I couldn't help thinking about how proud and pleased my mom would be for her namesake. 

We wrapped the weekend with an impromptu dinner with hubby's mom and dad. We missed them and got our fix. We drove home satisfied and contented with the world.

And so it was. Another life affirming, family centric weekend. And if I could raise my glass, I would toast - to life! It is indeed good.

Fifty

She's my beautiful little sister. And today is her birthday.

She came into our world smiling and was easy to love. From sharing a bedroom, an apartment and later, a house -- to living down the street from one another, I've shared my life with this special woman. She is a giver, an advocate and a survivor. She embodies intelligence, strength and inner beauty and has never stopped growing and achieving...

So today, on her fiftieth birthday, I can say with full confidence, that the best is yet to be. She is poised for something exquisite.  And lucky me - I'll be there to share it all with her.

Happy birthday Glenda.

Easter Famjam

As a child, Easter was a special occasion that ranked up there pretty close to Christmas for us. Not only did we get brand new crisp Sunday school hats with ribbon streamers, we got instant access to more chocolate and candy than we could comprehend. Free flowing candy was a rarity in our house and so we cherished the opportunity to gobble sugared Easter eggs and gnaw on solid chocolate bunnies. I would methodically break off ears and appendages and savour each piece of delicious, and try to make it last as long as possible. 

These days Easter is about family and less about chocolate -- although there was plenty of that too. To see the whole clan (missing one little soul) gathered in our home, engaged in conversation with one another, enjoying the energy and joy that is family, is the greatest, most satisfying experience I know. It fills my heart to overflowing and it astounds me - the goodness that has resulted from the love of two people. 

This Easter we had much to celebrate. Kidlet is graduating with her degree, my other daughter got accepted to teachers' college, my sister is just weeks away from earning her masters in leadership and her daughter chose our family event to announce her engagement! Loads of excitement ramped up the excitement level.

We are a family of communicators so you can only imagine how the walls reverberate with the sound of twenty plus of us all "communicating" simultaneously. We don't wait for others to finish their sentence -- we simply complete it for them and then continue on with barely a breath between. Doris, our 96 year old grand lady switched her hearing aides off. I swear my ears were still ringing the next day. 

Easter Sunday is always a  more peaceful at hubby's parents' house. The family is smaller and they are much less verbose. The highlight of any family occasion these days is our little niece. She has injected new life and excitement into the mix and is really the only one who can coax a special brand of happy from her Opa. 

And so, after much preparation and planning, another special family occasion has come and gone. The house is quiet; the dog is passed out on the couch but the springtime bouquets are in full bloom. There is the promise of possibility in the air. Springtime is like that... it delivers a fresh palette for us, and it is ours to create the life we so desire. 

And for that, and so much more, I am truly grateful. 

Almost the whole gang -- missing one!

Our beautiful grand lady Doris

Niece brings the magic to any occasion

Niece having an Easter photo shoot

West Coast Welcome, Reunion, Revelation

I wandered, meandered to the other side of the country. It was for work, but first - pleasure. I reunited with my far away cousin and her kidlet on the breathtakingly, beautiful west coast of Canada.

It had been almost five years since I last saw Cuz - and even then, it was my first time meeting her in person. Funny enough, she felt familiar to me; our kinship was easy and natural. Maybe it was our same age (we were born a few months apart), the fact that we both named our daughters Darcy or that our parents were sibs -- whatever the reasons, there was just something that bound us soulfully. We built our friendship over the phone and by sharing playful emails and messages. She lamented that none of the extended family had ever made it out to see her in her digs, her own environment. She is anxious to share and this past weekend, I was fortunate enough to accept her warm hospitality.

She and her kidlet picked me up and the airport and gave me the grand driving tour. We talked excitedly - a strong family trait - as she drove the curves and contours of the coastline. Occasionally kidlet nudged a word in from the back seat.

We walked the pier and the environmental sanctuary across from her home. The warm sunshine and floral-scented wisps were a welcomed respite from the harsh winter we are still dueling in my part of the country. Blossoms dripped from heavy tree limbs and the landscape was smeared with the glory and colour of springtime. Sea air mingled with fresh pristine air. I inhaled deeply and exhaled stress and the toxins of overload.

Her home is a picture perfect ginger bread cottage. The remnants of home baking greeted us when we burst through the door. The lemon loaves and rhubarb-apple pie were irresistible, and deeply satisfying. Comfort food for comforting times. Her brother and his wife joined us for a visit later in the evening. We swapped memories and other chit chat but stopped short of politics.

I eased back in my big comfy chair and took a mental picture to preserve the moment. I reveled in the peace and contentment I felt. I wondered what her mother would think of us finding one another. Family is funny like that... it's embedded in our DNA and if we let it, we can feel the pull to congregate and spend time together. My take away or revelation -- just how incredibly blessed we are to belong to something bigger than all of us; and the love that is there to be shared - if we so choose.

Here are some images from my west coast weekend, and in respect for her privacy, I have not included the shots of my beautiful cousin and her kidlet. The pictures took themselves...

Thanks Cuz.

First Aid Save

It was an impromptu dinner intended to be a pre-Thanksgiving (Canadian) visit to catch up with my dear friends who just happen to be my ex in-laws. My daughter Lyndsay, her significant other and I met the dynamic duo at local Vietnamese pho restaurant, for food that was as far away from turkey as you could get.

Norma and Harvey are a striking couple. Although retired for years now, Harvey still dresses in a full suit and open necked dress shirt. Norma's slim, athletic build, platinum blonde hair and youthful disposition belie her age. She has a calm, coy way of speaking and the only sign of age in this firecracker of a  woman is that she has turned her signature stilettos in for flats. She no longer towers over her husband, but still cuts a striking figure. My dad always refers to her a Zsa Zsa (after the actress  Zsa Zsa Gabor).

Last night we almost lost her.  We were barely fifteen minutes into our meal when Lyndsay started patting Norma's back. What happened next was a flurry of activity over five minutes that rolled before me in slow motion. Norma jumped up, pointing to her throat, eyes wild, gasping for air. I slid out of the booth, calmly and purposefully and took my position behind her to perform the Heimlich maneuver. She suddenly seemed frail and tiny. With my fists, I gave four upward thrusts but couldn't dislodge the blockage. Lyndsay called out that she was turning blue. The gasps were startling and anyone who was in the near empty restaurant had gathered round. A man who worked at the place took over but it was evident he didn't know the technique. A patron with the kindest eyes stepped forward, and asked if he could take over. I nodded, and after two thrusts, she started coughing. She fell into my arms and I nodded a silent thank you to the lifesaving stranger.

It was surreal and shocking and we sat the rest of the meal in quiet trying to resurrect the conversation. But we all knew the truth. We had almost lost her.

As with all crises, the calm I had in the eye of the storm, gave way to hysterical gratitude on the drive home. Thankful for the angel stranger; thankful that she survived to live another day.

Lyndsay and I agreed that knowing first aid is a must! And as we celebrate our Thanksgiving today, I have yet another big reason to be grateful.

Fast Forward

Frigid temperatures finally gave way to Spring, coaxing trees and perennials out of hibernation. Days tumbled into weeks since my last post - the busy-ness of life, shifts and changes all compressed into a sliver of time. My parents divested themselves from their life in Florida and came home. Our grand lady Doris got sprung from her retirement residence and is happily back living with her only daughter. We celebrated my sister's 50th birthday in true famjam fashion. We welcomed the nineteen year old daughter of my west coast cousin for a visit and played tourist with  her. AND I have a brand new niece AND an ecstatic MIH!

Where to start... I've been on overdrive with reflections and emotions rolling around my head and heart. I will share the best way I now how... in pictures.

Family Lottery

Where we are born -- the country and circumstances - is not unlike a lottery. And I was fortunate to come out on the winning end. I live in what I believe to be one of the safest, most beautiful, and socially conscious countries there is. It is also so with the family that I was born into .... I was raised in a noisy, often chaotic - but always exciting- household brimming with hospitality and unconditional love.

If my mother was our emotional centre, our father was our guiding light. He cut an imposing figure, but we never saw a violent bone in his body. He was demanding at times, expecting us to meet the highest of standards in our education and anything else we did. And somehow, knowing that he believed that we could "do it", made us believe it too. We watched him try everything -- sports, politics, leadership, hobbies - and excel at everything he tried. Big shoes to fill and steps to follow in. 

He prepared us well though... and even though he was borderline overprotective in some ways (our dating habits), in others he would simply give us the directives, warn us of the outcomes that would result in us not following them ("if you don't keep the snow machine exactly in tracks I make, you could fall into open water, and risk your life"), and then trust us to follow them. That was how he instilled confidence and caution into each one of us. He burdened us with responsibilities that at times, tested our limits, but then, voila - we handled them!

So today on his birthday, I will do what I always do -- say thank you Dad for being the very best; and to be grateful for winning the family lottery. I have wealth beyond belief.

Seasonal Social Cocktail

Christmas has been a swirling social cocktail of family dinners, visits, phone calls and more family get-togethers. Hubby calculated that we had "plans" on 8 of our 11 days we booked off as vacation. And he's right -- our house has been bubbling with activity (and dogs), delicious cooking aromas filling the air and the vacuum cleaner being tested to its limits. I love it!

Let's face it -- it takes alot of planning, effort and energy to create Christmas magic. But I can't think of an investment that has a greater pay off; when the tree comes down and the decorations are packed and stored for another year, the memories of the beaming faces of my girls and the laughter in the walls will live on for endless years to come.

At dinner we like to toast all who are at the table, those who are missing, and those no longer with us. If nothing else, it is a reminder that at the end of the day, it is really only the presence of family that matters. And lucky us -- we have lots!

Tonight we celebrated my mom-in-law's (MIH) birthday - every birthday deserves to be celebrated -- especially that of a person who makes it her life's work to bring delight and love into everyone's life. Tomorrow has more cooking in the cards for the 30+ family members from Hubby's side who will fill our home. Ham, lasagna, and lots of German humour are on the menu, and I am getting stuffed just thinking about it.

So much abundance. So many family. So much love. So much to be grateful for... and I am.

I hope your holiday season was memorable.

Celebrations

We said our final goodbye in a church packed to the rafters with family, chosen family and church family. We celebrated the life and sung the praises of this tough lady, and sung our hearts out to her favourite sacred music. It was a rousing, inspirational, spiritually uplifting home-going. Words were said; tears were shed. As the pastor (her son) so wisely articulated, he was not sorry (for his loss) - he was sad. And so it was on a sunny Saturday in November, after 91 years of hardships and triumphs, that this fine lady was put to rest, and her beloved sons and their families gathered on the curb to watch the hearse roll slowly out of sight. Another chapter closed.

And later that same day, the tribe congregated to eat cake! Family came from far and near to fulfill my eldest daughter's birthday wish to be immersed in the love of her family to commemorate her thirty-year milestone. I tried in vain to get a female superhero (she likes that stuff) put on her cake but they were fresh out. So she played the starring role as superhero on her own cake, and in the end, it was far more fitting. Her party was a team effort, decorated with sisterly love, and served up in true famjam style. Words were said; tears were shed, and we celebrated the woman she has become. She glowed - and her happiness showed.

And so it goes... celebrating life.

Preparations

Life is circular - no straight lines here!  It indiscriminately serves up doses of pain and delight, devastation and celebration,  laughter and tears - often at the same sitting. And so it is today as I cook, clean, and wrap in readiness for the birthday party I am hosting for my daughter's 30th birthday that we are holding on the very same day we put a cherished elder in the family to rest. It feels like I have a foot in two worlds... grief and jubilation; an ending and a milestone of life.

And even though it seems somehow awkward or out of order, it really is just a testament to life. The pendulum of emotion swings rich at either end of the spectrum. It does not pause, but rather, is in constant dynamic motion while we do our best to handle whatever it dishes up. But it does not stop.

So while we celebrate a life well lived and say our final goodbyes, so too must we celebrate a life being well-lived. The common denominator for me is the presence of family. Through the hardships and euphoria, sickness and health, births and deaths as well as the mundane daily occurrences. it is the support and presence of family - the precious circle of loved ones - that add colour and purpose to my life.

There is so much to celebrate. And for that, I am truly grateful.

Weekly Roundup

Time to breathe.

In the past week I've been to the East Coast and back; met a heroine of mine; got and fought the flu; held the hand of a surviving grand lady; wrapped my arms around the neck of another who is thriving; celebrated the birthday of my daughter; wished my "ex" a happy one too; offered a little TLC to my ailing hubby; and walked with my sister and Fritz through the forest, in the fresh autumn air. I made long and short distance connections with my daughters and parents - and ended my Sunday with spaghetti and meatballs.

I love my life! My heart lightens with every conversation, call, and connection. And really, isn't that what life is all about -- human connection. I am fortunate in that I live immersed in and surrounded by loving souls. I have lots of people to check in with and my phone rings often. What a sweet sound - love calling (except for those guys trying to sell me windows and doors). 

I got a chance to meet Barbara Coloroso in Halifax last week. She wrote a book, "Kids are Worth It", more than twenty years ago that saved my parenting @ss.  Kidlet got the full benefit of the wisdom I garnered from the book but it was a lifesaver for me. Ms Coloroso was speaking at the conference and I was able to tell her how much she meant to me and my family. This tiny, feisty lady packs a punch that belies her diminutive stature. "If I had known how much fun being a grand parent would be, I would've skipped parenting!" Yup - she's funny too. 

And the bonus, icing on the cake, was to wake up and, only after I finished my morning coffee, discover I had forgotten to turn my clock back; an hour in my pocket.

So after a long, full day I will go to bed with visions of elections dancing in my head. Life is good, and for that I am truly grateful.

My Normal

Today is the first ever International Day of the Girl. What better way to celebrate it than have my youngest daughter, Kidlet, hijack my blog  be a guest blogger and share her perspective on gender roles, family, and her "normal". This is her post:

When my parents were young the concept of family was different than my concept of family today. I believe that often times the environment we grow up in is what we mimic when we get older. My mother was taught that a nuclear family was what was expected of her. She did not grow up with divorce or a family outside the box. However, my reality was much different then hers. Today many families break the traditional concept of what family is in North America.  With a 50% divorce rate,  there are more single-parent families and blended families.  Family dynamics have changed and women now make up a major portion of the labour force. Even the gender norms are being bent and changed to represent gender as more of a spectrum rather then a binary scale. Marriage is no longer essential so more and more couples are living common law. Same-sex marriage is now legal in Canada so the idea of have two dads or two moms has completely stepped outside the idea of the traditional nuclear family and has changed gender role expectations.

I grew up in a very blended family. We like to call it the tribe because it is so big and extended. I like to use my family as an example of a modern family because I think it best represents how, though the make-up of family has changed, the value of family has not. My Mom has had 3 husbands in her lifetime. I have 2 half sisters who were from her first marriage who I grew up with but I never considered them to be anything less than whole sisters. I was born into my Mom’s second marriage of 15 years. I now have a step-dad of 10 years and counting. We have multiple sets of grandparents between the three of us girls and our Dads. My aunts and uncles have also been remarried and have children with different marriages but we all consider each other to be family.

Growing up in my house meant you had a working Mom and Dad. It meant that you went to daycare, sometimes spent days at different parents’ houses and lots of times had your entire family (yes, including all the Dads) all in one place for birthdays or holidays. In my family we have many different cultures, religions and political view points. You could call us the United Nation of families. Even though my family looked vastly different then my friends’ families, it was my “normal”.

I grew up learning a different set of gender norms. For me, having both parents work was normal and for this reason I believe I will be a working Mom. Newman refers to the fact that, “once women have children marriage decreases their earnings because many mothers choose or are forced to reduce their hours at work”. Though, it may not have always been easy, my Mom was able to maintain a full time job while being a full time Mom. My family puts a huge emphasis on education for both the females and the males. For this reason all the grand kids have pursued post-secondary education. I have a gay, Jewish sister but in my family all cultures and sexual orientations are accepted so I am now accepting of the same thing. I watched my Mom and Dad share housework based on efficiency and convenience so I have learned that the man does not always need to be the breadwinner and the woman does not always need to bear the brunt of the housework. I watched my parents mutually respect each other so I will expect that in my future relationships. I grew up as a girl who was not only allowed - but encouraged - to play sports and pursue my passions. My Mother raised us girls to have a voice, stand up for ourselves and learn self-sufficiency. Her teachings were not necessarily common when she was growing up, but has made it common for my sisters and I. The differences in the way my Mom and I’ve been brought up show how gender norms and family norms have changed.

My Dad is a single Dad. When I stayed  at his house he cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, made my lunch and got me to school. He takes on all the roles because he has to and because he grew up knowing how to be independent. He broke gender norms by being one of two dads in my elementary school’s parent council. Parent council was often made up of stay at home moms but my Dad made a point of staying involved in my education. He broke a stereotype that Dads take on less of the household chores because he is the only one there to do it.

There are still gender norms in  my family that are traditional - such as my parents always want to meet the boy we’re dating before we go out with him. We have been taught the importance of marriage and commitment and maintaining family connections. To me, the concept of family has changed in North America. I believe 50 years ago there was a bigger emphasis on traditional gender roles and division of labour but the goal of family was still to be loving and have a place called home. I look at my family and though we aren’t an example of a traditional family, we are still a place where behaviors are taught a learned. I come from a family of strong women and noble men who have taught me about being your authentic self and giving others the respect to allow them to do the same.

Guest blogger: Kidlet

Under the Light of a Silvery Moon

The golden saucer hung low in the sky, glowing brightly, outshining the stars. We leaned back in our Muskoka chairs on the dock, heads tilted skyward, gazing silently at the breathtaking beauty. Diamonds danced across the water and a perfect reflection of the moon cast a response upwards.

What a moon! What a sight to behold. The season of change has had a brilliant introduction.

And while we moon gazed, life in our family is changing.

She has seen and survived war and destruction; immigration and persecution; and poverty and pain. And in her almost 92 years she has raised four boys to men, nurtured grandchildren, ran a nursery school, supported herself and maintained  a stoic matriarchal position in a growing family. She wages war on diabetes in a sightless existence and sadly, she will succumb to the ravages of the disease. But she will not go quietly into the night - as that is not her way. What she has endured is not for the faint of heart; her iron will and stubborn reluctance is her resilience. She has said she is not afraid - just afraid of being alone.

She is nearing the end of her journey and the time spent holding her hand while she rests is a privilege - and does not go unnoticed. Her sporadic jolts into the here and now that produce a random "I love you" or "thank you for everything you do" spoken with her heavy German accent are our reward. Her heavy laughter after my heartfelt attempt at singing "Goodnight Irene" is precious, and means the world.

We love and are loved. And over a lifetime, we can only hope that the circle of love we have cultivated will be there to sustain us in our darkest hour. And if we are really fortunate, we will have a chorus of tender farewells to usher us over to our hereafter.

Wedded

The clouds parted and the rain dispersed just in time for us to wipe off the chairs so Harmony and her beloved could be married in the lush, green forest - the most sacred cathedral of all. With a dad on each arm, she followed her sisters down the well trodden path to her groom, who waited beneath the chuppah he had made from branches to honour her Jewish heritage.

It was a special day and as understated as it sounds, that is exactly what it was. Our ever-expanding tribe convened beneath the trees to support our young couple in their marriage and celebrate that which is the glory and joy of family. There were reunions, hugs, kisses and introductions. There were blessings, speeches, tears, applause and good wishes. Most importantly, my daughter and her new husband were cocooned the entire day and evening in love.

I'll share a few pictures (but only a few because she hasn't even seen them yet) and my wishes for the newlyweds.

My wishes  for you in your life as a married couple: 

That the love you have for one another will sustain you and grow with each passing year;
You will be the soft place to fall for one another;
That you will have more joy than pain; but when the winds of adversity breeze through, you will seek the lessons, and your bond will be strengthened
Most importantly, my deepest wish  is that you will hold the hand of your beloved, wrinkled and weathered with time and experience; and you will have the privilege of growing old together.

And even though times like this remind us of those whose presence is in spirit only, they also remind us that life is good, and made more purposeful with love.

Privilege helping Harmony into her dress

Reflections

Flower girls and their adorable sandals

Under the homemade chuppah

Nature's sacred cathedral

Couldn't resist getting my own captures!