Reconnection

Reconnection. That is the word for the "now". International Women's Day has me reflecting on the many women who provided the texture and substance for my life. My mother and grandmothers from whose hardship, breast and bone I was borne.  Their resilience, strength and resolve that I can only pray is packed into my DNA.

My father used to tell me that I didn't need alot of friends; I needed a few good friends. And he was right. And over my lifetime I had had the privilege of having deep friendships - from school, college, and my workplaces. Some have come and gone, fulfilling their reason and season but I have a small group of friends that have been a constant, doing life with me.

A few weeks ago I had the urge to look up someone who had been very special to me and who I hadn't spoken to in over twenty years. The reasons are a little complicated but in a nutshell, our lives took us in very different directions. I had tried  to find her ten years ago to no avail. But my recent efforts paid off. She popped up on Facebook and I direct messaged her. I was nervous, wondering if she would want to reach out. Within days I received a pleasant reply. She was interested in catching up and promised to call me when she gets back into the country. It filled my heart and I was happy that I had listened to, and acted on my intuition.

Tonight I caught up with my forever friend Jilly and we covered the gamut of topics - Trump, Dems, Co-Vid 19, parents, kids, community, LGBTQ2, Pride, plans --- you get the picture. It was the kind of conversation one has if you lived next door, and she anywhere but. We share a universal connection not based on frequency or intensity. It just is - as sure as life itself. And after I speak with her I feel content and grateful. She is a changemaker and she is my hero.

I wrapped up my weekend with texts with my soul sisters to make plans to spend time together. We're trying to make our visits more frequent this year and it is a struggle but our commitment extends over 25 years now... longer than any of my marriages!

Reconnection is food for my soul, and tonight, this soul is full to overflowing.

Expressions

When people ask me on Monday mornings how my weekend was, I always respond that it was great; that I've never met a weekend I didn't like! What's not to love -- two full days of something in front of Friday, my favourite day of the week. We cram alot of good stuff into these two days... and in the summer that usually includes some cottage time. However we still manage to weave in celebrations and precious family time.

A long anticipated birthday, Adventure Girl FINALLY turned 50 last weekend and Kidlet was my date for the elegant shindig. As each person stood to confess tell their Elysia tale, I couldn't help but think how special it was that she was hearing these sentiments and expressions of love and affection - too often reserved for eulogies expressed after someone has passed. With her dear old dad by her side, she laughed heartily along with everyone even as the evening took on a roast-like flavour. Her beaming face told the story - she thoroughly enjoyed herself and was moved by the love that filled the room.

It served as a good reminder to share our feelings with the ones we care about. Let them know what they mean to us and how our world is better with them in it. Leave no positive feeling unexpressed! Adventure Girl - if you are listening -- my world is better with you in it!

Just a final note to self: have had enough cake in the last two weeks to last a lifetime, or at least to inspire a 25K walk each day. Cheeks are ever expanding...

Doing (the) Charleston

Adventure Girl is turning 50 so you know what that means -- girls' trip! We chose Charleston for our five-day adventure for its heat, southern charm and history. The mojitos, fish tacos, and crab cakes were the added flavour - the bonus!

My two gal pals and I have been keeping a regular commitment of dinners, trips and socializing for more than twenty-five years now. We call ourselves the "dinner club" but we are so much more to one another -- sisters from other misters! We move together as an easy pack - we know one another's quirks and characteristics and solve our differences with playful banter.

Charleston is a wonderful city steeped in history and baked in exquisite cuisine, Yum! We ate our way across the region, taking a day to drive to Savannah with a pit stop in Hilton Head. Rather than write a travelogue here, I let my pictures speak for themselves.  Next milestone trip: 2018! Gotta start saving!!

Drayton Hall Plantation

Leave em rest - slave graveyard

Gas lanterns

Boot scrapers from the 1700's

Inspired Youth Inspired Me

It's been almost a week since We Day and it's taken that long to reflect on what we witnessed, absorbed and felt. It was awe-inspiring spectacular - and a privilege to be there.

Twenty thousand youth - social activists each and every one  (cause you have to be to get to We Day) - filled the stadium. They don't sell tickets; you have to earn your seat by working for a local and global cause. Twenty thousand youth hopped up on optimism, passion, and belief that the change starts with them. The place pulsed with high octane excitement and the energy was palpable.

Kidlet and Megz and I sat glued to our front row balcony seats, soaking everything in like thirsty wanderers would take to an oasis. It was sensory overload and to tell you the truth, I needed the recharge.

I could go on and on about the dazzling entertainment; the lineup of speakers that are nothing short of heroes and legends; and how I had to fight to hold on to the last bit of mascara on my eyes ... but I think a few select quotes will give you the picture:

"While acting is what I do for a living, activism is what I do to stay alive" -Martin Sheen 

"You are part of a new generation that I call the generation without borders" -Romeo Dallaire

"We have everything we need. We have the technology, the tools... the only thing we don't have is the will to act… The will to act is a renewable resource. It lives in your heart. Wake it up!" –Al Gore

"We need to give ourselves permission to ask for help." Spencer West

Justice Murray Sinclair encouraged the new generation to right the wrongs of Canadian aboriginal residential schools. “Tell your schools you want to know the true story of the Aboriginal people.” 

You can get a taste of We Day for yourself; they are posted online. The event was kicked off by a diminutive little girl who spoke boldly about "lighting our sparks and turning them into a flame" : Watch her.

After We Day was a reception of reunions for Kidlet and I. We already had Megz with us and the icing on the cake was seeing our Maasai friends Wilson and Jackson again. We had time to chat with them and reconnect. They are now published authors and seemed surprised at the little children lining up to have them sign their book. So humble. And then, if that wasn't enough for one day, our friends Denise and Laura - both whom we met in Kenya met us for dinner. 

Who would have thought that two years ago as we sat under the stars of the Mara, warmed by the fire in a clay pot reflecting on all that we were seeing and learning - that we would once again meet - this time under the Canadian skies - to renew friendships and once again reflect on how lucky we all are. 

So as you might have guessed, my heart is full to overflowing and I thank my lucky stars for taking the leap and making the trip to Kenya. It was a gift I gave to myself, and one that has kept on giving and giving. And even more - it changed my life forever.

Now it is my turn to give, and I picked up a few good ideas!

Me and Megz

K'Naan - Is anybody out there?

Romeo Dallaire - a Canadian treasure and my hero

This is what 20,000 young change makers looks like

Wilson and Jackson back in town - centre stage

Nelly Furtado and First Nations dance troupe

Spencer West redefined possible by climbing Kilimanjaro on his hands

Spencer gives good hugs

Reunited!

Trading in traditional rubber sandals for warmer footwear

Kidlet gets Jackson to sign her copy of The Last Maasai Warrior

Our little group that started in Kenya - reunited (missing Lisa)

Thanks Kidlet for sharing the day - the gifts of our journey keep on giving ,,,

We Day Reunion

We had promised one another that we would keep our friendship kindled and stay in touch after our Kenya experience.

Such promises are not new to me ... that nice couple we met in Puerto Vallarta that we seemed to have so much in common with;  the wild professor I connected with on our excursion to the Mayan ruins with whom I exchanged mailing addresses; the list goes on. Sad farewells and heartfelt promises to write soon, stay in touch, call when in town. Crumpled little shred of paper scooped out of the washing machine with faded ink numbers. Good intentions giving way to busy schedules and resumption of daily life. Broken  promises.

But not the case with the kindred spirits I met on our Kenya trip a couple of years ago. We've kept up with one anothers' lives since our shared experience - reuniting a few months after and now again - two years later. Megz is flying in from Arizona for We Day and Kidlet and I will have some face to face time with her.

We first met in a bathroom in the Nairobi airport when she approached me and asked me if I was Lyn. She caught me off guard and I replied that yes, I was indeed her... and how did she know my name. She confessed that she recognized Kidlet from my blog! And after I learned that she too had just turned 50, it cemented the easy friendship; and when we discovered we were assigned cottage-mates - the deal was done!

Our Masai warrior friends Jackson and Wilson have arrived in Canada so we are hoping to meet up with them once again, along with a few of our other travel mates, bound forever by what we shared collectively.

When I first contemplated making the trek to Kenya, I knew that if I could summon the courage to step outside my comfort cube, that the pay-offs would be phenomenal. However I never could have imagined just how profound and lasting the experience would be for me - and Kidlet. Life changing.

And so I am in ready mode -- sweeping away old cobwebs, dusting off the vacuum, reacquainting myself with my steam mop, making up the guest room and tossing out fermented bio-things that are living in my fridge. Next stop: wine store and grocery shopping. I am as excited as a kid on Christmas morning to be reunited with my travel pals. Can you tell??

PS - Jackson and Wilson just released their first book, The Last Maasai Warriors.

Cabin mates at Bogani cottages on the Mara

In Touch

Apres dinner recaps in our open air dining on the Mara, Kenya

It's been more than a year and a half since Kidlet and I took our trip to Kenya. But I knew then that the life-altering experience was one that would keep on giving - and it has - in so many ways. The bonds formed with trip mates from sharing wonderment and awe over dinners eaten under the Kenyan night have remained. We were from far and near -- Phoenix, Ohio, and Toronto. And since our adventure, our lives have taken the usual twists and turns, and changes. Through it all, with the use of technology, we stayed in touch.

I got an email from Megz, my Phoenix friend, bubbling with news of her next trip to the Mara and her philanthropic capers. She added news of the upcoming wedding of her daughter and her hopes to be a grandmother one day. I could picture her with her youthful demeanor sitting casually draped across from me, eyes wide-eyed and twinkling with excitement as she filled us all in. Lisa is expecting her first baby; Laura is working on her Masters degree; and Denise is always off on voluntours with one or more of her enlightened kids.

Our ages span a gap of almost twenty years yet we found a kinship, a sisterhood in one another. And even though geography and time divide us, there is a comfort in this easy circle of affection and caring we have formed.

I "replied to all" and gave them the scoop on Kidlet and I and added my direct questions for each. Now all I have to do is wait - and the responses will come tumbling in. Insta-joy! I believe we will meet again soon, and once again sitting lazily around the dinner table, laughing, debating and discussing the woes of the world and how we may play a part in the change.

Life is a generous hostess, serving up rich and lasting mementos of my experiences and adventures.  My heart is full to overflowing and my relationships meaningful and many. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.

And We're Off!

I am out of the gate and running; 2012 is officially off to a very promising start. New Year's Eve was a family event of course with both sets of parents coming over for meat dinner. Doris and daughter rounded out our table of eight - it felt like a big fat present! I can never get enough of family time.

I expected to spend the first day of the new year in quiet reflection and contemplation. The universe had other ideas, with a day of random, unplanned visits and connections.

It was a carry-over from yesterday's numerous phone calls to catch up with loved ones.  My friend Shirley called to announce she was a new grandmother and we shared a moment reveling in this exciting new chapter of her life. Her grandson was the first baby born in his community and is getting all the goodies and attention that goes with it.

Then Jilly called to ask if she could swing by for a visit. I could feel the effort she was making to the promise we made to to spend more time together. We sat at opposite ends of the couch, Fritz flopped in her lap, catching up, laughing, enjoying the ease of our friendship. Another blessing!

The day rounded out with a call from my far away Cuz. Far away Cuz is a special gift ... although we are first cousins, we never met one another until just a few years ago. How wonderful to discover a kindred spirit who is just months older than me, who named her daughter the same as Kidlet, and who shares a similar philosophy to life! We definitely feel the family connection and have lots to chat about. After about three and a half hours had passed and we were saying our goodbyes, the reality of the phone bill she will get sunk in. Yikes! We agreed that when life is bristly and the day a little difficult, the best way to pull yourself up is to make a gratitude list. So Cuz, today, on this very sparkly, shining first day of 2012, I   am grateful for your far-away kinship and for having you in my life. I am also grateful for more loving hearts than I have chairs at my table; the abundance in my life; and for this blog through which I tell myself that which I most need to learn whispering into my own ear ...

If I had to pick one word to sum up 2011 for me, it would be giving. This year I will try to make it be connections. The year has definitely started off on the right foot. Happy new year everyone.

Retirement and Reunions

Tonight was a reunion of sorts as my former cable TV colleagues came together to celebrate the retirement of one of our own. The building had bloated to four times the size it was when I worked there 18 years ago (kinda like me). It was odd returning to a building in which I spent so many years growing into my professional self, only to feel out of place. Lucky for me, the whole (mostly female) management team from my era were there to help our friend close out a chapter and usher her onto the next. We squealed happily (our male colleague grunting) wrapping our arms around one another, telling each other that we hadn't changed a bit and excitedly catching up on our lives.

I had the unique privilege to work so many years ago on a management team consisting of 5 women and 2 men - unheard of at that time in the male dominated pole climbers cable TV industry. There was a spirit of cooperation and support as we helped one another become successful in meeting our goals. We disagreed and debated but at the end of the day it was a safe environment and we were there for one another, with our relationships rooted in friendship. Even more importantly - we had FUN while getting it done.

Our general manager at the time (who has since passed on) told us to look around and remember -  because the exceptional, magical dream team experience would never be duplicated. And it wasn't.

There were dignitaries, former and current olleagues, family members, friends and event the corporate big wigs who had flown in for the event. The cafeteria had been transformed in to an elegant lounge complete with live entertainment, candles, a bar, a delicious spread and a stage with a ginormous screen shot of our friend. There were slick posters with photo essays of her illustrious, colourful career. And then she sat in a comfy chair on the stage as a parade of her past and present estolled their good wishes upon her. I couldn't help but blurt out that this was exactly like a living eulogy -- a funeral before the death. And it made me happy that she got to hear the wonderful things people think about her and how she impacted them. Most of us never will for we live in a society that hangs onto our great speeches until they will not be heard by the one who would enjoy them the most. Maybe we need to rethink that and create such opportunities to share "in life".
It's been a good night. It was rich in memory excavation, reconnection, reunions and a reminder of the exceptional companions I have had along the way on this incredible journey that is my life. And for that I am truly grateful.

Forever Friends at Fifty

Look how big our smiles are ... I am smiling because my body shaping undergarments are cutting off the circulation to my heart and Jill is smiling because she is younger than me and doesn't need foundation garments!

Today is her 50th birthday - an achievement in which she lagged behind me. There aren't many things I do better than her: I squeaked out one more daughter - and a few more husbands; my bra size is definitely bigger; I have more sibs; and I talk a whole lot faster - and more!

But the thing is, we were destined to be friends. Aside from the shared taste in fashion (we basically mirrored one another's wardrobe, starting with our matching pantsuits and boy's survival jackets), we had the coolest Moms around (who we lost a year apart), we love to write, we have solid social consciouses, and she is a good listener and I am - well you know ...

We are there for one another, rescuing when necessary and at other times, celebrating the joys and milestones of more than 40 years of friendship. Our bond has never been based on activities or defined by time. Instead we have an omnipresent peace and confidence that goes with knowing that we have that one special person who has our history; with whom we've shared the navigation from childhood to womanhood to motherhood - and beyond. We are soul sisters assigned to accompany one another on this fantastical journey that is our life.

When we were little girls we talked about being old together and guess what? We are! 

Happy birthday to my forever friend Jill.

Sparkles in the Gray

Oh gray November, you held sparkles in your dismal with so many reasons to celebrate.

We came together as a family to celebrate birthdays of my two oldest daughters and my future son-in-law. The feast was bountiful with gluten free, starchy, grainy, meaty dishes and the table was customarily too noisy with cross conversations being exchanged in outdoor voices. The house burst with life - and love. Tears were shed (and not only over my daughter's gluten free cake attempt), and the best gift of all was my dad's emotional reaction to the gift of his family's history, neatly bound, and presented to him by my niece and nephew. These treasures of the past become that more precious and meaningful as we age, and get farther away from our beginning.

Last week I made two separate trips into the city to meet friends for dinner. Ironically each of the three have logged more than 36 years of friendship with me. We knew one another as kids, swapped vinyl records and listened to AM radio in the days of soft faded Levis, wedge haircuts and school band. As I drove the four-lane expressway into the city it occurred to me that to have friends from childhood still such a large part of my life is truly remarkable. One more reason to cut November a little slack, even if she did spill a little snow last Thursday.

And today hubby and I went with my engaged daughter and her beloved to choose the spot amongst the tall pines where they will make their vows next summer.

So many spots of light flickering amongst the gray and cool damp of November. And for that I am truly grateful.

Squeaks, Squeals and Wine

Mouse, Marg, Jill and I. When we were 13 years old we used to eat our peanut butter cups and Delmonte puddings together every day. We stayed tight through high school and kept in touch as our lives took us all in different cities and in different directions.

Over the years the weave loosened but stayed intact; we saw each other less often and not all together. But we had our pipeline and the town we grew up in to keep us connected. In the past 12 years the only time the four of us were together in one place was at the funerals of our mothers. All four of us lost a parent within a two year period. Sadly Mouse's hubby passed from cancer six months ago, and once again we congregated. We decided that very day to meet in the summer on happier grounds to enjoy one another.

The happier grounds was our cottage. We finagled our work schedules, made child care arrangements, and cleared our calendars to make it happen. We did, and it did not disappoint.

The worries about snakes and spiders was for naught HOWEVER my inherent dislike for mice was tested to the max! They seemed to pop out all over the darn place. We shrieked! We chased! We cornered and captured - and we split our guts laughing. And by the time I slipped my foot into my weathered TOMS to feel find a mouse sleeping in the toe, I was done - immune - depleted and over my phobia!

The girls and I spent a whole day dockside comparing spider veins where the heck did they come from?, reassuring one another that we'd come a long way, rehashing juicy stories from our teens years, comparing notes on raising daughters (we all have girls) and generally exhausting the goodness out of our absolutely perfect summer's day together. Marg said the weather was heaven sent and that our deceased loved ones ordered it so we could have some special time together. Lovely thought. 

All I know is that when I listen to Marg tell a funny story complete with full on imitations and hear her laugh as only she can, it is the voice of my teenaged friend I hear. When I look into the tiny face of my dear friend Mouse with her sparkling eyes and mischievous grin, I see the girl I spend my childhood with. And at the end of the night as Jill and I share parting thoughts of the day that trail off into slumber, we are roommates yet again. So much has changed but at the very core of it all, we haven't.

The refrigerator bulged, our bellies followed suit and after our festivities, the recycling bin was pretty much full. The time flew by too quickly but we cherished every second. We agreed to try our best to make it an annual tradition. I just hope we will be able to find stuff to talk about.  : )

Mouse and Marg wondering if dinner can be served dockside.

YUP!

Chillin Jill

Marg in training

Reflections

Tranquility in waiting

A Reunion to Remember

The weekend is coming early this week! I have the next few days off and am heading to the cottage to spend it with three very special gal pals. We have been friends since grade seven when we would congregate at the exact same table for lunch every day to unwrap tidy little packages of goodness, swap gossip and share laughs. Jill and I had already been friends for a few years when we moved to the big school for grades 7 and 8. We naturally attached ourselves to Marg and Mouse (she is tiny and nibbles her food) and together we were a fierce foursome.

Now after decades have passed, we remain friends; we have shared the thrills and chills of life; seen each other through marriages, divorces, mothering and buried loved ones. When we are together, it is as though time has frozen us into our 16 yr old selves. The teasing is relentless; the laughter overflowing and the comfort of being with people who have known you as a child - priceless.

I have been looking forward to this reunion for a long time and I just know it won't disappoint. I just have to make sure Mouse doesn't get a glimpse of the dock spiders (or any spiders for that matter) and that Marg doesn't learn about the poisonous snake that our lake is named after (she has a snake phobia). I just hope Jill doesn't take me out foraging for nuts and seeds in keeping with her Paleo diet and that the steaks will do.

I have been blessed with an abundance of love and companionship in this life. And for that, I am truly grateful. Now -- let the weekend begin!

Weekend Uninterrupted

So it's been a week since my last post, but don't be fooled - the last seven days have been bursting and stuffed full of living.

Kidlet started her internship at our favourite change making organization which translated into calls about the transit routes, emails about her first impressions and laments about how she they could give her more and better things to do. Regardless, I think there is lots to be learned by working an eight hour day with an hour commute to boot!

My two amigas joined me mid week at the cottage for some girl time. Hubby sent me a screen shot of the weather forecast for Wed through Sat showing rain and thunderstorms each and every day with a note saying he hoped it would change. It didn't.

All plans of us dockside slumped in Muskoka chairs, cold beverages in hand soaking up the sun were dashed! Thankfully my gal pals are their own bundle of sunshine so we made good use of our time out. We chatted the damp out around a cosy fire; we cooked delicious, elaborate meals (risotto is a decadent time sucker) and munched on fresh fruit. Best of all -- we laughed until our sides hurt.

With the girls' departure came hubby and the new dock for the cottage. The rest of the weekend was spent connecting the dock to the ramp to the shore. The scent of the cedar was strong and fresh, a testament to its newness. Throw in a couple of Muskoka chairs and the scene was set for the summer, and  I predict many hours of leisure will be spent on that dock.

Hubby and I sat on the dock last night just as the sun was setting. It was still overcast and misty but the rain had relented for a few hours. We watched a family of beavers, our new neighbours, swim about full of purpose. We heard the haunting calls of the loons and saw the blue herons take flight. We marveled at our good fortune to have these fleeting, precious moments immersed in nature - weather be darned!

This morning as we packed up the tools and readied the cottage for lock up, the sun appeared in all her glory. She was a convincing hostess so we stayed an extra hour to enjoy her company.

So I am back to the city after a peaceful mini vacay ready to face the week ahead: we are celebrating my niece's university graduation; we are moving our 98 year old grandmother to a new home; and my far away sister is coming down to be with us as Dad is has his spine operated on. We'll fit working in and amongst the important life stuff. Celebration, change, transformation and family -- that is what this week will be about. And before I fall asleep tonight, I will think to myself, Life is good.