Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Worry-some. Worry-none

To worry - or not to worry. That is the choice.

I was taught from the time I was a young child that worry is a pointless emotion; an energy sucker. My mother used to say that when we worry we often imagine the worst case scenarios - which, in reality, are the least likely to occur. More often than not, the worst does not happen.

I am not wired for worry - sometimes to a fault. Years ago on a Caribbean vacation when our then 17 year old daughter was out with some kids she met and was still not back in our room by 4 am, her father was frantic. We split off to go in search of daughter; he was borderline hysterical with thoughts that she had been murdered in a foreign country. I on the other hand had a sneaking suspicion this was a girl on the loose who lost track of time. I headed for the beach and within minutes ran into her on the pathway, happily chatting with her new pals as she strolled along towards the room. I was spared the emotional upheaval and histrionics. Her dad- not so much.

My family member has some health issues and is getting medical attention to figure them out. We talked about what could be causing the symptoms and in the course of our conversation she said she wasn't going worry - there was no point; it wouldn't change the outcome. She was right.

Sometimes there are things we can do, actions we can take to affect the outcome but there are also things that happen to us that are completely beyond our control. Today Kidlet's dad texted her to say he would be late picking her up, and when she got a second text from him further describing the bloody scene, (he said his shirt was so bloody that he looked like he had been beat up) her concern escalated to worry. She began furiously "Googling" nose bleeds and rhyming off possible disorders ... tumours, infections, allergies. My heart melted for her - that she took the worry on. When I gently urged her not to worry, she said she had to worry about him, cause he doesn't.

It sounds trite to suggest not to worry. But really, to worry is to waste. It bears no fruit; it accomplishes nothing but rather, it depletes and destroys confidence and hope. Better to take whatever action is necessary and then release that over which you have no control. The universe is unfolding as it should.
Kidlet was going to the hospital with her dad so he can get checked out and I told her to call me if they need my help - or anything else. I want her to understand that you can only do what you can do -- do being the operative word. And she is doing that. I want her to worry not - and be empowered.

I am going to get my empowered self to bed now. I hope she is OK. Did I just worry???

2 comments:

  1. I love the pic and the message is great too :)
    cuz

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Cuz. We have to get you up and running too!

    ReplyDelete

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