Eyes pop open. Birds are chattering in the tree outside our window but the room is still dark. Not a good sign. I squint with all my might to focus on the clock radio perched across the room – to somehow “will” the blur into clear numbers that I can read. Get thyself to the eye doctor. 3:42 AM. I had wanted an early start to the day but this was not exactly what I had in mind. My gold standard internal clock is completely screwed up these days.
Before the information can even transmit from my eyes to my brain – the wake up sequence is activated. Brain launches into high gear; to do lists scroll like teleprompters; yesterday’s conversations are replayed, reworked and rehearsed to no avail. Fritz’s breathing seems to get deeper and every movement of his, is countered with one of my own. Hubby doesn’t snore but I count every breath he takes for hypnotic therapy. It’s unsettling when the noise in your head resonates with acoustic quality that rivals our surround sound and no amount of self talk, deep breathing and counting seems to squelch it. Rethinking the amount of caffeine I consume.
So I wave the white flag. I surrender. I make peace with my clock and convince myself of all the things I could accomplish if I just got up ….
Eyes pop open. 6:05 AM. The frenetic get-ready-for-work-in-under-15-minutes sequence is launched, and I am off to the races. I really have to try that breathing thing …