Writing Frenzy

With a little time off I have turned my attention to the stack of documents that I have consolidated into what is to eventually be my Dad's book. For almost twenty years he has been chomping on the bite to put his life's experiences on paper. With several starts and stops, and in between posting daily to his blog, he churned out more than 150 pages of memoirs.

He asked for my help in crafting them into a cohesive story. I was more than flattered - I was honoured. That being said, now that the work is well underway I admit I am daunted, intimidated, and feeling somewhat incapable and unworthy of the task. I want to rise to the challenge and help my dad express all that he wishes and leave his footprints in the snow.

He is an incredible man with an interesting, inspiring story. I am learning more about him than I ever thought possible and I can't wait for it all to be shared with our family. And so we will press on and I will revel in my front row seat to a real showstopper. Stay tuned.

Blogging and Birthday Milestones

Today is a day of milestones. How fitting that my 800th blog post land on the birthday of my beloved mother-in-law MIH. I always say that she was the bonus when I married my husband. So today, on her birthday I want to celebrate her life in the best way I know how.

You are a firecracker loaded with infinite energy, determination and good intentions. You love your family - especially your kids and mom - as fiercely as a mama bear protects her cubs.
For you the glass is always half full; attitude towards life is yours to choose - even though the circumstances may not be; and answers and solutions must be pursued relentlessly. You never say never and you never give up.
You choose light over darkness and spend much of your waking hours spreading the light to everyone you meet. You work hard at being happy and creating moments of happy for others. You delight in delighting. You are generous in all ways possible - materially, spiritually and emotionally. Your inner child is intact and ever-present and you wear it  like a cloak of youth. You favour over-the-top, wacky, joyful and full technicolor over the mundane. You are most comfortable in towering heels and  you love bling, sparkle and shine. And maybe that is how I can best describe you. Because my dear MIH, you light up my life with your pizzazz, devotion and most importantly, your love and unconditional support. You are someone who deserves to be surprised, delighted and loved.

So today on your special day, I celebrate the woman you are and the blessing you are in my life. In you I have found a soul sister.

Triple Threat - No Regrets!

Fritz and I are chillin on the couch with the nightly news blaring on the TV, marveling over the light dusting of snow we finally received and pondering the Christmas flurry that was, and is past.

The unofficial verdict is that this Christmas was one of the best. Two of my three girls joined my hubby and I for our Christmas Eve with his parents and sister. MIH had the house awash in bright lights and silver sparkle. She worked her magic and created a magical Noel cocoon. Hubby's family is much smaller than mine so the experience is enjoyably different and I was going to say "quieter" but then I remembered that Kidlet was there. MIH spoils everyone rotten and my father-in-law prepares a feast for us -- keeping mainly to the kitchen, appearing now and then to refill our wine glasses or offer a preview of something on the end of a fork. It is always delicious. This evening is our traditional kick off to the Christmas season.

I have vivid memories from my childhood Christmas' and most of them involve having aunts, uncles and cousins around. Our house used to reverberate with the sounds of fun that came with having family together in our home. I've tried to duplicate this experience and tradition with my own kids, and although we don't have any little ones in our family right now, our coming together is still the highlight of the season. My sister and her family made the 5 hour trek and nieces, nephews, sibs, kids and family elders congregated to share Christmas morning ... just as we've done for my whole entire life. I think that equates to more than half a century! The affection is undeniable; there is no obligation here -- we truly love being in one another's company. We like it so much that we come together for a second round at dinner. This is when Hubby says "I love you" with a meticulously prepared feast.

This year was extra-special with my dad, true to this word and plan, not only making it to our Christmas events after only 4 weeks since his spinal surgery, but managing it all without the use of a walker or cane (swinging his cane only as he jauntily walked to and from his car).

For a few brief days the house was packed with daughters, boyfriends, fiancees, and dogs! The table was covered with copious amounts of sugar and starch and the house was alive. It made me feel the same. 

Who are we kidding; Christmas is a season to be carefully created **sexist and gross generalization alert** mostly by the women in the family. Yup Virginia -- there is a Mrs Claus who organizes Santa and probably does the shopping and wrapping for him. Just a hunch.

So tonight marked the season closer with the open house at my MIH's for hubby's larger, extended family. It was supposed to be a three hour deal that turned into a 5 hour event after the family decided they really enjoyed chatting with one another. After the tidy up "pile up" (MIH sent us home with twice as much sugar than we brought) and the drive home in the first snow of the season YAY! it was after 10 pm when we got home.

It's been a long but good day. Christmas has been a blessed holiday with so much to reflect upon and to be grateful for; so very much.

The Gift

Christmas had a special meaning this year. It marked the end of a long wait for my dad's return to health and relief from pain. So although I was thoroughly spoiled by my loved ones and our day was filled with abundance, there was one special gift ... he promised us, and he delivered.

Walk on Pops!

Bake Off

I took a Betty Crocker moment for myself and decided to squeeze in some last minute Christmas baking. If there was a prize for good intention then I would get the BIG one; but unfortunately the end products wouldn't earn more than a "completed" grade. It was all half baked .... I had to use the last remnants of the cake flour mixed with some whole wheat (didn't find the 5 pound bag of all purpose flour in the storeroom until AFTER I finished baking); the shortening shortfall had to be supplemented with butter; the rock hard sugar had to be pounded back into granules and I only had two thirds of the molasses I needed.

The result of my valiant efforts: 16 cranberry/currant scones, 2 dozen ginger cookies that you could break a tooth on and one big flour dusted, molasses mired, sticky mess to clean up! Hubby has directed me not to toss my cookies as he plans to eat them,

The upside: the house is filled with the heavenly scent of ginger, cloves and cinnamon -- and it almost completely masks the residual skunk odour. Now the happy baker is off to bed.

Divorce

d i v o r c e.  It was something spelled out in an old country tune by Tammy Wynette. It was a subject whispered about in hushed tones between grown ups, and something I only heard about, but didn't know about close up. That is - until I brought divorce to our family.

It was a foreign concept to me. I had been raised by two parents who were passionate about one another. They argued hard, and they loved harder. No matter what was going on in our family or between them, there was never any question that they were a couple; a team. My dad was never one for public displays of affection but in our home they were all hands on deck. They hugged, snuggled, squeezed and my father often watched tv with his head in my mother's lap. Their old double bed sagged in the middle from where they slept in one another's arms. I wanted that unconditional, stand by you, you're the only one for me, you rock my world kind of marriage.

I could go on in great lengths about the turmoil and pain I went through arriving at the decision to finally end my marriage(s). No doubt it was difficult, just as it was in telling my parents and close friends. But I would be deceiving myself if I didn't admit that the greatest pain of all was that which I caused my children. My choices turned their world upside down and disrupted the security and harmony that I had worked so hard to create in our home.

There is no making it up to them. What is done - is done. However I made it my mission to create a new kind of security for them; the comfort and stability that comes from knowing that you come from unconditional, omnipresent love that will never die. I am proud that their fathers and I made a conscious effort to be, and continue to be, solid, unwavering parents to them.

Here is the single most important key to creating a loving, extended tribe:
Our love for our kids is greater than any other abiding emotion we may have. Bigger than our anger, resentment, jealousy, or any other residual toxins that can remain from a broken relationship.

And so be it. I hope I have taught my girls that we are singularly responsible for the life we create for ourselves; but also that our lives intersect with many and they too deserve consideration and empathy.

Too Quiet for Comfort

The empty nest is quiet... and empty. The house is quieter than it should be and if I listen very closely, I can hear vibrations from yesteryear coming from the walls. I miss tripping over the pile of shoes, boots and backpacks at the front door; and finding most of the kitchen chairs cloaked in unhung coats and sweaters. I miss running the 24 hour laundromat and folding copious piles of laundry every night in front of the television. I miss reaching for the milk jug only to find it empty and making a sandwich with the last two crusts left in the loaf.

Now the same bag of milk lasts for weeks and the bread doesn't get eaten fast enough to stay fresh. There is no one to blame the clutter on, and no one to yell at except the dog.

Thankfully it is almost Christmas and soon the house will once again reverberate with the giggles, bickerings and singing of my girls. Soon the shoes will be piled high at the door and the foyer will be cluttered with bags and backpacks ... and dogs! Soon I will have something to complain about .... but I won't. Because if I have learned anything, it is that there is nothing like a houseful of loved ones to generate love and lasting memories.

Come on home girls. Mama misses you.