Letting Go

Letting go of that over which we have no control ...

I am learning to do this better with each passing year. I am a little bit of a control freak and a fixer ... and I tend to get frustrated when I can't resolve / solve something. I am relentless in my attempts to make it right. Then the day came when I hit a wall -- a disease in my mother that I couldn't fix. By her example I learned to take full control of what I could (her care) and let go of what I couldn't (her illness).

I've encountered friends and family who suffer with alcoholism and I learned that I couldn't control their drinking - but I could choose my response and participation in it. There was a time when I would spend countless hours on the phone listening and coaching an inebriated soul on the other end who - next day - couldn't remember the call. I would forgo my children's bedtime stories to "help". I was missing the part where the drinker had to decide they needed help.

I came to realize that my bid to be a helper was actually somewhat egotistical -- I was deriving self importance while letting my priorities slip. What was that about - a deep seated need to be needed -- or make a difference?

Life has a way of delivering unordered tragedies, roadblocks and hurdles. They are tests. We should expect them. And the question is not "why" - but rather "how" best we can handle them, or help others to do so. It is a choice we can make ... and that is something we can control.