Time Squander

Adventure Girl came over last night for vintage wine-in-a-cardboard box and deep conversation. We were excitedly sharing stories about things that had us enthused about life these days. She was recounting a meeting she had with a seemingly ordinary young woman who is setting extraordinary goals to affect change - and is doing it. We commented on how there are remarkable people who seem to spend every minute of their time productively, and we feel a little shameful for squandering precious time. I shared my disappointment in myself that I have yet to latch onto a cause or initiative to which  I feel compelled to make a commitment. As it stands now, I am just one of those people who writes cheques to and follows causes that inspire me. That is easy giving. I haven't figured out the best way I can make meaningful contributions.

When I was a young, working mother of three, barely holding it together to get through what seemed to be whirlwind, activity packed, energy sucking days, I flamed a desire to give back. I remembered my college days of volunteering with mentally challenged kids and adults in a group home, and that fulfillment that was a gift to me. I yearned to recreate that experience and achieve that fulfillment once again. But simply put - I didn't have anything left to offer - nor did I have the energy.

Now I am on the cusp of being an empty nester - Kidlet will be heading off to school next fall - and that yearning to volunteer is stronger than ever. And that is because my time has come. No more squandering for me. I can feel the pieces coming together, and my destiny taking shape and becoming clearer.

I have alot to give back, and I don't want to waste a minute!