Take my advice ... Kidlet

~ perseverance ~ or ~ We need a new screen!

Once my girls entered the workforce I found myself (in parental zeal) imparting little tidbits of advice that I had learned along the way. Usually lessons I learned the hard way. Advice on how to get a job; how to get ahead, how to be a superstar and rock at work; how to deal with work politics and difficult or awkward situations; and how to see the big picture. I was lucky to have learned many of these life lessons from my parents by working in our family owned businesses and was spared the embarrassment of being called out by a boss. Kidlet will be getting a summer job (pleeeze) soon so this post is for her ...

Do more than is expected
Forget the phrase "it's not my job". As my dad taught me, when you are being paid - you are being paid to be busy; when you finish the job you think you were hired to do, seek out more work or ask how else you can help.

Fight monotony by setting goals for yourself
When I worked in our family store and the time dragged on, I set a goal of trying to get a compliment from each customer. I smiled widely, I chatted pleasantly (to even the crustiest of customers), I tried to remember the wants of my regulars and have them ready for them by the time they reached the counter. I got addicted to hearing, "thank you dear, you've made my day". I kept a tally of each compliment and tried to beat it every night. (Thanks Mom for this one).

Make yourself indispensable
My dad taught me this one ... be the kind of employee that is truly missed when you are away. In my first real full time job I used to order the coffee, run errands, put money in parking meters for executives, and hand deliver the daily newspaper to the president with a post-it note happy face on it. I always asked him how his day was going. No job was too lowly and I filled every gap I could see. I delighted having the account execs asking where I had been and how much they missed me, after being off work a day or two. They depended on my for all the little comforts. As my dad said, if you can be away and not missed -- are you even necessary?

When you want out of a job you hate, be really great at it
When a job is difficult or just plain miserable, do it stupendously well and you won't have to do it for long. The trick is to get noticed -- and promoted! When I landed a job as a customer service rep for a nasty cable company answering 150 calls from angry, frustrated customers, I thought I was going to explode by the second day. I decided right then and there to be the best darn CSR they had -- I worked at answering the most calls and making the highest sales. Within 2 months management thought my talents were being wasted on the phones. Eureka!!

Create the job you want
Get in the door and after you perform the core function for which you are hired, fill in the job with tasks and other responsibilities that you are interested in or are good at, that aren't currently being done (well). Round out the job, develop it and add value. See first point - do more than is expected. You can create the job you want and then they hire someone else to sweep!

OK Kidlet -- here are five tips to start with. Get the resume updated and we can work on getting that first job. Benzie needs expensive gas!

Wordless Wednesday

waiting impatiently

Mum's Day

Call me cynical, or negative or whatever. But I absolutely dread Mother's Day. I am a daughter without a mother and more than any other, Mother's Day is the painful reminder of that. I am a person who is usually in tight control of their emotions ... if a tear rolls, it's because I let it.

Who am I kidding ... I am a middle aged (did I just say that??) woman who must be nearing menopause. I have about as much control over my emotions as an infant. Stick me in front of a collection of Mother's Day cards and I reduce to a puddle of mush. I can barely help hubby pick one out for his mummy.

I know -- I should be remembering all of the happy memories we shared, what a wonderful person she was and how lucky I was to have had such an extraordinary mother. And I do -- every day. Not a single day passes without a happy thought of my mother. But THAT one day every year really gets to me. And it's a bit of a conundrum ... I am a mother to three daughters. A reason to get out of bed that day. As my mother once reminded me, if all of the mothers without mothers were so saddened that they couldn't acknowledge Mother's Day, there wouldn't be one. I know it can be a day to celebrate being a mother as much as anything else.

However ... allow me just this - a few moments in time
To let myself feel the void, the empty space
Where she used to be.
Let me fill with sadness and wrap myself in loneliness
And wallow, spare but a few moments.
Let me miss her; and if I so desire, shed a tear.
I know it's been years but the loss is still near.
And when I have spent all raw emotion, tears dried,
The colour will return, memories will sharpen
And my heart will be filled to overflowing
With gratitude.

I had the very best.

City Mouse

Fritz is perched on the cushion behind my head; the sound of his rhythmic breathing in my ear; his cold, moist nose pressed against my neck. He looks like I feel. We're both a little tired tonight. I wonder if he has a headache too ...

We're spent from the excitement of the wildlife adventure we had earlier. It seems that that ever-disappearing mouse poison I have been leaving in the cupboard near a gaping hole in the drywall was being consumed by ... (guess?) a mouse! Or maybe probably several. Hubby found a live one sneaking around a drawer that we keep dried foods in. He humanely captured it in a paper towel tube and released it into the wild (our back yard). As I was expressing my undying gratitude to him, I spotted movement in a clear cereal container. Then he poked his head out of the raisin bran -- Mickey Mouse Jr. I shrieked! I hate the spontaneous appearances that mice-on-the-loose make. Unexpected, unwanted surprises. Hubby wrestled the second one down -- Crocodile Rodent Hunter Hubby -- and also released it.

I hope our little friends will be happy in their new home, in the great outdoors. I didn't mean to show a lack of hospitality but then again, guests should call before visiting. And my animal hugging, fish loving hubby -- he's my hero.

Sunday Funday

Where do I start?

Camaraderie; exercise; fresh air; family; homecomings; revelations; sunshine; fundraising. My Sunday included all of these. The sun was high and bright in the sky - setting the perfect tone for the day to come. Hubby finished putting up the sun cabana in our back yard, creating that spa-like atmosphere I was hoping for. I told hubby that this is the best gift I could ever get - and it's not even a Hallmark holiday! Now we just have to persuade Fritz not to use it as a fire hydrant.

I received an early morning email from a close friend with revelations about her life and a vivid description of the life she wants to create for herself. I guess you could say she had an "aha" moment. Reading it, I felt proud of her and at the same time honoured to have been privy to it.

Today my daughter and 2 amigas joined me in a fundraising event, Steps for Life, a 5 km walk to help families of victims of workplace violence. Moving testimonials from a wife who lost her husband to occupational disease, and impassioned politicians set the tone for the day. Although not huge in numbers, the swarm of people outfitted in the bright yellow t-shirts sharing fellowship, swapping dog chatter (lots of dogs), and chowing down on foot long hot dogs created a feeling of community. My daughter had her heart set on bringing Fritz, and just like the kids who behave better for company than their parents, Fritz was a downright charmer. He seemed to revel in the company of so many other dogs. Needless to say - he is passed out cold.

Pops and step mom arrived home from Florida. I went over to their place and caught them just minutes after they pulled in. It wasn't long before my sister and her two sons pulled in too. Just like us to have an impromptu family reunion seconds after the chief returned to his tribe.

I am so happy to have them home and those tulips on the front lawn -- just bloomed. This has been a fantastic, fulfilling and rich weekend. Gosh I love my life.

PS - Kidlet had the car both nights ... I am learning to let go. : )

Saturday Saunters

Stupendous Saturday -- that's what it was!

After one of those leisurely mornings, you know the kind -- slow to rise, three cups of coffee, and stolen moments to ponder and set my compass for the day. If my day starts off at my own pace, the rest of the day is relaxing. Proof that most relaxing takes place in the psyche.

Hubby and I sauntered the streets of our town and of course our beautiful waterfront. Those to me are the most carefree moments of all -- walking hand in hand with the sound of waves lapping on the rocky shoreline; fragrance of hyacinths mingled with the fishy, moist air blowing in off the lake filling our nostrils; picking out dream homes as we meander the trail. Peace descends upon me whenever I get close to water whether it be an ocean, lake, river or ... puddle. : )

We gorged on British fish and chips for lunch. I gorged more, adding a side of coleslaw to my order. The only morsel of food left on my plate was the lone fry that I dropped on the floor.

Our magnolia tree is in full bloom. That tree is a tease ... it takes a few days to open its blooms and just when it reaches its peak, and is at its most beautiful, it abruptly sheds its fuchsia petals. So when it blossoms - it demands - you must enjoy it in that very moment or perhaps not at all.

My dad and step mom get back from Florida tomorrow. I prepared a pork roast and baby potatoes for them and left the food in their fridge so they will have a meal after their long journey. I cut a few of the tulips from their back yard garden, put them in an antique milk bottle (as good as a vase) and left them with my welcome note. It seemed a waste not to share them before they wilt away. The deep rose tulips in their front yard however saved themselves for their return ...

Welcome home; we missed you.

Conections and Reflections

Here I sit, at the end of my day, reflecting on the gifts the day rendered. As I do this, my car is not in the driveway. Kidlet passed her driver's test today and now Benzie (my car) is in her hands. Her grin couldn't have been wider as she drove us home from the testing centre, and I admit I was a little giddy as well. I think she can smell the new found independence and freedom. I think I am going to be walking more. Another milestone reached ...

I took a vacation day to take Kidlet for her driving test, making this the third Friday in a row that I have had off. I could really get used to this four day work week. Hubby and I are focused on making our back yard the retreat we want it to be. He's been doing the heavy labour and it is paying off. Just add loungers and sunshine and it's good to go!

The news program in the background is discussing the newly renamed human swine flu -- the H1N1 flu! Thank goodness ... no one wants to have swine anything.

One of my amigas came over after work - a spontaneous get together. It gave my frozen chili an encore and we made a healthy dent in that box of wine in the fridge. (Box sounds tacky doesn't it?) Sometimes spontaneous is best; no fuss or muss. Just thrown together eats and good conversation. Fritz was smitten with E, gradually making his way from the bottom of the couch near her feet to a full out cuddle fest with his head in her lap. Nothing like a good ole gab fest with a close girlfriend to kick off the weekend. Even Fritz could appreciate that!

Icing on the cake was the phone call I received from my cousin out west - who I have never met. Brings new meaning to connections. We had been emailing back and forth for a while now, learning about one another and our extended family. She is the same age as I am and coincidentally her one and only daughter has the same name as Kidlet - not a common name.
I love the first time you hear someone's voice and put it to the face. It's like another mystery solved. She sounded friendly and energetic and she said I sounded different than she expected - she thought I would have an east-coast accent.

I never cease to be amazed by the wonder of it all -- family (some of who I have never met) strewn across the expanse of our country. Something so big - and I am a part of it.

What a wonderful day - milestones, friends, family (old and new) and Fritz. I forgot to mention he got a makeover.

Today is the kind of day that makes you sigh in contentment and whisper a quiet prayer of gratitude. Thank you.