My life choices included ending two marriages. At the time, although I acknowledged that my children would no doubt be affected, I think I minimized the impact and pain it caused them, choosing to believe that the decision was best for everyone and if I was happier, I would be a better mother, and therefore they would ultimately be happier.
The gift of the passing years for me has been a deeper appreciation of the ripple effect of the choices I have made in my life. I left my parents explaining the radical changes in my life to their friends and family and most importantly I imposed life changes on my girls, changes they didn't have a voice in. I can only imagine the pain of being torn between two households, living out of a duffel bag, always missing someone ... I have worked hard to build a strong family and create a stable circle of unconditional love, rich with traditions and rituals. I only hope it has been enough.
My choices have created ripples ... it's time to acknowledge that, and to offer apologies to those who have been hurt by my choices. Would I choose differently knowing what I know now? Probably not. I would however be more sensitive to the needs and feelings of my loved ones. And I would remember that choices have ripples ... as I have learned.