Kidlet doesn't need me anymore ... I know she loves me and still needs me to love her back and for incidentals, but she doesn't need me for the big things anymore. And she doesn't want to need me. I was going to say she doesn't need me like she used to ... and then it dawned on me that she hasn't ever been a child who has sought me out.
She was the 18 month old at Moms and tots swimming, struggling to get out my arms, wanting to swim alone. I had to let her sink like a stone to prove that she
When she was three I took her to parent and tot skating with the thought that we would have some quality time together. Wrong. She pushed me away and made off like a wobbly Bambi on her
In her lifetime with me she hasn't been one to need me -- that is, until she got sick.
So now my little five foot nine Kidlet is throwing me into semi retirement. She wants to leave the nest --no nudging by mama bird required. She has been counting down the days to freedom as have I (for other reasons). Kidlet may not need me anymore but I can't help feeling that it is somehow easier for her to leave knowing that she has parents who are here, arms eternally outstretched, ready to receive should she want a hug ...
I know she is prepared for the changes before her ... just not sure I am.