What you realize when itʼs gone..

GUEST POST: Kidlet here, taking over Mamma Bearʼs blog!

Iʼm into my second week of University and I feel like Iʼve passed the first week chaos. Figuring out where to eat, where classes are, how to get back to my residence, and of course trying to get books. ($700 later and I made it.. no wonder students are poor). My first week was packed with activities, new faces and old ones via skype. It was filled with adventure and a feeling of curiosity as I explored the place that I was suppose to call home. I felt a million times better once I got all my walls decorated with an array of pictures, posters and super hero cutouts. I got all my stuff put away and found a place for everything. I began to get myself into a routine and learning when the hot showers were easiest to get and finding out the hard way when cold showers happen (generally after noon). I began to make connections with people on my floor, in my program and in my classes. Things are exciting and yet I missed my home routine.

I miss my friends and of course my sweetheart. I have seen him only a few times or as I like to think of them, glimpses. He has started school part time and was having his hockey home opener. I decided this was something important and so I figured out the bus route and took a GO bus home where my best friend picked me up and just like old times we trekked to Joshʼs hockey game. It was nice to be around someone that knows me and there was no pressure just rapid chatter and giggles about my stories of getting lost. My cute boy had a great game scoring a goal and getting two assists and he even drove me back to campus. Having a moment at home, a night with my friends and a car ride with Josh made me see that though I was having a new experience life was moving forward as always at home. What I had also realized is that I had not spoken formally with my Mum or my Dad, two people who I see and speak to daily.

I got a lump in my throat as Josh drove away. I realized that I am creating a very new life in a new town without the people that have helped to shape me. I couldnʼt be feeling homesick could I!?  I wasnʼt all that sad when I left home and Iʼm not even far away. I guess you donʼt really appreciate what you have until itʼs gone. My Mum is just someone who is there when I need her and even when I donʼt. She is quietly whispering advice in my ear and gently guiding me even when I think I can do it on my own. I think to really appreciate someone like my Mum or Dad you have to have some space. You need to see the space they leave once theyʼre gone. Finally I see the empty space they leave in me when they arenʼt present. I starting looking at my picture wall and reminisced on all the memories.

I decided the best way to keep them with me was to talk about them. Over dinner I explained to a girl on my floor all about my family and my Mum and many of her philosophies. I explained how I admired her and how she is the best example of a dreamer. I even heard myself recite some of her own advice. I hadnʼt realized the impact my Mum has had on me and listening to others makes me see how lucky I really am.

I know itʼs ok to miss home, its only natural. Itʼs been a long time since Iʼve had to really get to know knew people and have people get to know me. I think you get to know yourself again when you have to put yourself out there. Itʼs hard and quite a process but I know Iʼm equipped with the tools to get through this experience and make the most of it. My Mum called and I was so relieved to hear her voice. She asked me how school was just as I hoped she would and she listened to my stories of people and food and work. I know that no matter where I am my Mum is just a phone call away and that means so is home. I also have my sisters skyping me daily for updates. My best friend in Montreal constantly keeps up-to-date through a text or a quick Skype date. Things are changing and I might even be changing but I donʼt think I could go wrong with the support I have around me. Nothing has changed in that department, just my location.

Iʼm almost done my first full week of classes and Iʼd be lying if I said it wasnʼt intimidating but itʼs a challenge Iʼm excited for and one Iʼm excited to share. You guys better bet youʼll get some emails with papers to edit.

Signing out from my little residence room. I am fed, showered and clothed.. Iʼd say Iʼm doing pretty well. :)   

             - Kidlet

Added by Lyn (Mamma Bear) -- couldn't resist, Kidlet!