Invisible

Today the writing prompt was ten minutes on "how am I invisible". This should be good. Anyone who sees me takes my loquaciousness as a sign that I am an extrovert -- talkative and friendly with people. Anyone who really knows me that I am in introverted extrovert with skills. I get high anxiety walking into a room of people I don't know, especially if I am alone. Public speaking  - presenting? I quit jobs over that. I am content to sit back and observe rather than force engagement. I sit in the front row at conferences and meetings. My dad taught me that. I don't even let myself think about it, or choose. I simply walk to the very front of the room and sit alone (usually) in the front row. No escape route. Eyes focused frontwards, exuding false confidence. I have skills. But I digress. Here is my ten minute response to the prompt.

They laugh at one another’s stories and musings, building on them as they take on awkward and hilarious structures. I try to interject but they are lost in their frivolity and energy, completing one another’s thoughts and sentences and are oblivious of my attempts to join in.

There is so much life and happy chaos swirling around me and yet I feel alone in a quiet cone. Invisible really. They no longer need me as they did, certainly not as a source of entertainment or information. They are standalone, self sufficient women in their own rights, confidence cemented in their sisterhood. They have one another. They form a triangle of loyalty and love and each could not be more different. They challenge and criticize one another – and when I am fortunate enough – they do me as well. They debate in heated tones. Their convictions and passions spilling over the kitchen table onto innocent bystanders. 

They are warriors as am I. They have reserves to care for not only their own but their communities. They are equipped to face the unexpected, the dreaded and the pain that awaits. And they possess a vibrancy for art, learning, family and life.

I am quietly proud as the observer of their relationship. It is after all a triangle, not a square. 

Heavy sigh from daughter on the other end.